Page 55 of That Summer
5:17 pm Okay – seriously… I get it. You’re mad. Obviously. How do we move through this? I can’t not have you in my life.
5:22 pm I’m going crazy… not the “drug-induced or lack of” crazy but lonely crazy. I miss you.
5:26 pm Class isn’t going well. Hope its going better for you.
5:30 pm Lucas??? Is your phone lost and in the hands of a total stranger and that’s why you’re not at least sending me an emoji? Hello??
Wednesday
8:41 pm Well it’s not like I can drive over to your house and bang on the door, begging you to talk to me. Can you imagine? Me showing up at your place in a cab? LOL. Hmmm… unless that’s what you’re hoping for. Would be reverse psychology or something. So how do we fix this? How do I fix this?
Thursday
11:36 am Okay here’s the thing. Until you tell me to fuck off, I’m going to text you everyday. Every. Single. Day. Did you read that?
2:06 pm I had physio today. My only appt all week and my last one for a while. I overdid it and earned my ‘treat’ the hard way. And I’ll tell you something, I fuckin loved it. It felt so good. It’d been too long. But that’s it. That’s all I’ve had. Haven’t even touched the Xanax, but it’s there. Haven’t slept much either. I think I’ve managed three hours each night. I keep thinking back to Friday. And I have no words. Did I overreact? Probably. Did I have reason to think what I did? Absolutely. So now what? I don’t want to lose you. You mean too much. But I don’t know what to do. I need to talk to you. Lucas, please. Call me. Text me. Email me. Send a telegram if you’d like. Just let me know you’re okay. Please…
Friday
3:52 pm The neighbours are giving me dirty looks bc I won’t stop touching their cars. You’d better come stop me. ;)
4:15 pm What no comeback to that? LOL. That was pretty good. Homework isn’t the same. I have no car to sit in. :) The videos are boring without your running commentary. You really are a good colour announcer.
4:34 pm Anywho… I’ve been going through Carmen’s things all week and used her old stuff to work on something that I hope I’ll be able to show off at the track. If you’ll still take me. ;( It’s no PaintNite but its me.
Saturday
11:08 am I wanted to wish you good luck. I know your last race of the season is tonight. Hope your Guardian Angel drives fast. :) Miss you.
9:56 pm Hope you did well. I was cheering from here. Did you hear me?
Sunday
10:03 am We really need to talk. This is getting ridiculous. I’ll have lunch ready for 1. I think you know where I live… LOL.
10:57 am Your silence is breaking my heart.
Chapter Fourteen
She glanced to the clock. It was after one. Lucas didn’t arrive for lunch. Slowly, she rose and took his plate to the kitchen, wrapping it up and putting it in the fridge. Her own food remained mostly untouched—she’d just pushed it around. Her head fell against the refrigerator door. Foolish she had been in hoping he’d show. What was she going to do now? Would she honestly text him every day still?
It had been over a week since they talked. She fought back bitter tears as she slid down and flopped on the floor. The whole thing had been her fault. She’d been the one to freak out, and rather than work through it then and there, pushed him away. Just like she had with Nate. She was hopeless and doomed to live a life alone.
With Lucas no longer talking with her, her epic plan had already failed. He wouldn’t be driving her to the track. There would be no reconciliation with Nate. She’d lost everything. Tears streamed down, staining her cheeks. Another glance to the clock. It was quarter past.
Damn.
Her hands smeared the tears over her cheeks and into her hair.
A knock sounded from her door.
She scrambled to get off the floor, her heart pounding faster than her steps.
Another knock.
Twisting the door handle, she pulled open the door.
“Hey,” she said in a broken voice.