Page 1 of That Summer
Chapter One
“Again.”
“No!”
“Yes. Dammit, we’re going to try this again.” She smacked her hand against the roof of the car for effect.
“Aurora…” Lucas said as he walked around and stood in front of her. “It’s finished for tonight.” Gentle, soothing hands gripped her shoulders as his reddish-blond head tilted down, his hair teasing the edges of his dark eyebrows. “And that’s okay. We can try again tomorrow.”
The parking lot was half-full of tenant vehicles, but the spots around Lucas’ car were empty. It was the perfect location to play ‘touch-the-car’, and endeavor to sit in it. Tonight, she had tried. Multiple times. And failed miserably. The first shot at it, she could sit and touch the seatbelt, but with each successive endeavor, she worsened. Her last attempt to sit in the car, she launched back out as soon as her butt hit the seat. It didn’t matter how many times she tried, staying any longer than a few seconds caused instant panic. At least she’d stopped puking. PTSD was a complete bitch.
Her gaze cast toward the other vehicles around them. Anywhere but him. Shame and hatred blanketed her—shame that she couldn’t physically handle anymore, and hatred because of what she was trying to overcome. Normal people didn’t need to fight post-traumatic stress disorder. Normal people didn’t worry about their next car ride leading them straight to death. There was more hate than shame lately, which in itself was a good thing. It gave her something to fight against.
“Again, please Lucas.” Her voice almost a whine. “Just one more time.”
The tall man stood strong before her, his stance unchanging. “As much as I’d like to see you conquer this tonight, it’s not gonna happen. You’ve pushed yourself all day. You’re on the edge of falling apart.” He flicked his hair away from his grey-blue eyes as they settled over her.
“But I can do it. I just need another…”
I can do this. I know I can. I just need another shot.
He shifted and closed the gap between them. “Your body and your mind need a break, okay?” When she didn’t respond, he squeezed again. “Okay? Look at me.” His hands smoothed out the wrinkles of her sleeves.
His soothing touch grounded her. When she flew off the handle, swore like a sailor, and lost all control, his gentle stroke from her shoulders to her fingertips brought her back to her senses. She couldn’t explain the way it instantly calmed her racing heart, steadied her breathing, and focused her. Only that it worked. Every. Damn. Time.
She was so lonely and her body craved human contact. Since she’d quit her drug addiction cold turkey, all chemical relaxers were completely out of the question. Touch had become her drug of choice. She was allowed two Xanax weekly, and she saved them for those times where she was so overwhelmed she couldn’t think straight. This wasn’t one of them. She needed his comfort more.
She and Lucas had been working on Operation Save Nate for the past few weeks. Every day two steps forward, one and a half steps back. It was maddening. She was never going to conquer her fears in time.
Lucas tipped up her chin and said, “Take a deep breath.”
Cool night air rushed into her lungs.
“Hold it for one… two… three… exhale.” Long fingers tapped out the count on her shoulder, ending with a tender squeeze.
His gaze held hers as she released the air. “Thank you,” she said.
“You’re welcome.”
Her shoulders sagged as she leaned against the car defeated. “Now what?”
“Tonight, we pack it in.” The passenger door latched. “Tomorrow’s a new day.”
Her voice dropped. “Yeah.”
He draped an arm across her shoulders. She leaned into him as they headed into the apartment building. Punching the correct floor, the elevator doors rolled shut in front of them.
“And what, may I ask, is on the docket for you tomorrow?”
Aurora faced him. “Work and back-to-back therapy appointments. Physio at three, shrink at four.”
“With Chris?”
Chris Johnson was Lucas’ older sister; a highly skilled psychologist working on her master’s degree, and Aurora’s mental health specialist. Or was.
“No, Chris thinks it’s best to sever my dependency on her. Claims it’s a conflict of interest or something because you’re helping me win back Nate, so she keeps referring me out to other shrinks in her office.” A small, awkward laugh escaped her lips. “But I haven’t found anyone there yet that I’m comfortable with. We’re running out of staff. I think there’s one or two left, if the one tomorrow isn’t right.”
“You’ll find someone.”