Page 119 of Error Handling

We break away, startled by the intrusion.

“Mom?” Sarah exclaims. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m taking a walk. I’d ask you what you’re doing but I already got an eyeful. Did you find this fellow on the beach?”

“No. Mom.” Sarah looks and sounds flustered. “This is Chris. My...friend.”

“I’m her boyfriend,” I correct. I offer my hand to Sarah’s mom, and we shake. “I’m Chris Butcher. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Hmm.” Sarah’s mom eyes me up and down. She looks frail in her black one-piece, the harsh color making her skin all the paler. But who am I to criticize?

“You could introduce yourself instead of gawking,” Sarah says to her mother.

“Sorry. I’m just surprised. I’ve never seen you with another male in this capacity. My name is Patricia, by the way. My enemies call me Pat.”

“Then I definitely won’t call you that,” I say.

“Thank you.”

Patricia continues to eyeball me and Sarah. I’m embarrassed that she witnessed our public display of affection. It’s not how I wanted to meet Sarah’s mother.

“You didn’t tell me yourboyfriendwas visiting,” Patricia says, adding ample weight to the word “boyfriend.”

“I didn’t know until last night,” Sarah says.

“Well, how long is yourboyfriendstaying?” Patricia adds.

“Stop saying it like that, Mother. I’m not in middle school.”

“If you’d ever had aboyfriendbefore, I might have a little more practice.”

“Seriously, Mom. Stop.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just a little shocked. It will wear off if you give me a moment.”

Sarah crosses her arms and taps her foot. “There. Is that long enough?”

“Fine, but you didn’t answer my question, so I’ll ask Chris. How long are you staying, Chris?”

“Just the afternoon,” I say.

“He’s having dinner with me and Dad, and then he’s leaving. Don’t worry, we’re not shacking up together.”

“That’s not what I was implying, but I don’t suppose your father would mind, given his relationship ethics.”

I’m keenly aware of Sarah, of her increased rate of respiration, the tension in her shoulders that wasn’t there five minutes ago, her crossed arms forming a barrier between herself and the world.

“We just started dating,” Sarah says, hesitating slightly before the word “dating.”

“And kissing, I see,” Patricia adds.

Sarah’s lips stretch into a thin line. She takes a deep breath, her arms still anchored against her diaphragm.

“I wish you would have introduced me to Chris sooner,” Patricia says.

“I was out of town,” I offer. “I just got back yesterday.”

“Out of town where?”