Page 28 of Talk About… Dramay
“I have half a mind to call Mama and Avery,” Nash said in an unusually somber tone.
“God, do I look that fucking bad?”
Maverick let out a low growl before coming over and shoving me toward the mirror hanging in the living room. He forced me to look at myself and even I couldn’t help but wince.
Dark shadows under my eyes, unshaven face to the point of a beard that was unkempt, skin was splotchy from my awful habits, and I looked pale as fuck.
“If you think you look bad… your apartment is worse,” he said. “What the fuck is going on?”
“He’s beating himself up again,” Nash said as he sat on a bar stool and sipped his coffee. “You’d think someone who hasn’t made a single fucking effort to contact the omega he ruthlessly shoved out of his life, would have moved on. She did.”
“What?” I bit out, lunging for him but Maverick was faster, slamming his large hand into my chest and putting himself between us.
“Gossip moves fast in Rockwood Valley. Word is your omega is finally coming home with her pack.”
My stomach churned and the fight drained out of me all at once.
“Ori has a pack?” I asked, voice broken and hoarse. All three of them nodded, looking concerned and worried before I couldn’t fight the rising bile and sprinted to the bathroom.
Nothing was worse than stale whisky and stomach acid. Yet, this was my morning more often than not.
My chest ached sharply, the small bite on my collarbone pulsing angrily. It wasn’t often that I felt anything. I’d somehow created a mental barrier before I’d managed to break it off, shut my emotions off and severed the bond to the point that our breakup didn’t cause her sickness.
At least I told myself that’s what happened. I had Avery and our Mama check in now and then at first.
After that I let it go, let her go. At least I told everyone I did.
Not a fucking day went by that I didn’t hate myself, loathe the fact I’d done that. Hell, even my alpha instincts had dulled until I wasn’t sure I could even knot if I wanted to.
Then there was her family. We’d once been close but they pulled away completely. My mom was too sad to notice until it was too late and I was a wreck. Brandon and I saw each other from time to time and he refused to look at me. Her alpha dads, Adam and Steve had threatened to kill me at first, but Brandon made them back off.
Only because she’d be affected, too.
Now she was coming back and had a whole new pack. She had no need for me and the life that I’d let spin out of control.
I put on a happy face at work, flirted on lives, but outside of that I was a fucking ghost of a person.
Heavy footfalls moving slowly down the hall had me pushing off the cold tile, flushing, and washing my hands and brushing my teeth again.
Tucker waited outside the door, his brown eyes full of pain on my behalf.
I didn’t fucking deserve him, either.
“We’re going camping,” he said. “Pack your shit.”
“How long?” I asked, not bothering to argue. It was our way to air out things and return as new alphas. Maybe this was exactly what I needed.
“We leave today, when you’re ready. It’s a few hours drive but I found this spot I think will work out. It’s an alpha only campground. Staying for a few days,” he offered before walking away.
“We’re leaving. Get your shit together or I really am calling Mama and Avery on you,” Nash called out. A grunt of agreement from Maverick was all he added before they were out of the door.
The prospect of camping was enough to perk my mood up. It sometimes reminded me of some of mine and Ori’s first outings as a mated pair, but my dads had taken us out camping since we could sleep on our own and it continued up until they died.
A few years after they died, Mav started dragging us out to camp again. What was said around a campfire, dark secrets and emotions, were left in the ashes at the end of the night. It was a true catharsis I’d never grow tired of.
My hands shook as I stuffed my pack full. All I could think about now was Ori’s face. Though, the pictures I’d stalked online were strange and fake. The smile didn’t reach her eyes despite being near blinding on her ads.
She was successful and I was so fucking proud of her. But she wasn’t happy and that was my fault.