Page 16 of Talk About… Dramay

My scent matched alpha was, apparently, too fucking broken to take care of me, so I learned how to handle it myself.

Fuck Cameron Whitaker.

My doctor let out a long sigh. Something he did before he gave me a serious, but well intended lecture.

“There’s a possibility that you’d cause irrevocable damage to your reproductive system. Worst case scenario it could strain your organs and lead to deeper complications, including infertility.”

There they were. The words he was struggling to get out. If I took them again my body might not be able to handle it.

“The pain the suppressors caused was due to the swelling and inflammation. This can’t keep going on. I recommend you quit now. It’s far worse this time,” he admitted. “I don’t want to have to do surgery and render you childless, Oriana.”

My throat constricted and a sob escaped me. Most days I could keep my anger at Cameron at bay, but in moments like this, when I could see the life I always thought I would have being ripped away, the pain was fresh all over again.

My doctor knew my history and my plans to take these meds for the rest of my life. I’d told him everything the first time I had a reaction and emphasized how badly I needed them.

He was sympathetic but he also wouldn’t risk my life.

We were hopeful it was a fluke. At first, the reaction was mild, manageable, but with each heat my body rejected them more and more. Itching, pain, nausea, burning sensations… and heats that weren’t truly suppressed.

All I ever wanted was to have a real family, a pack, and to be a mom. Now, I could lose it all.

The ghost of Cameron’s memory was so close to the surface now that I wanted to scream. He was so perfect at first. Attentive, sweet, taking things at my pace. We were teenagers after all. I’d fallen for that southern drawl and the pretty hazel eyes he flashed my way. He was all sweet, flirty words and gentle touches.

Then his dads died.

Those pieces of him I loved died that day too.

I tried so hard to be what he needed, to support him through the dark times. I checked in every day and gave him space when he asked. For weeks, I was at their house every morning cooking and cleaning so they all had food to eat and a house that didn’t stress them out further.

Cam had my heart and soul and I wanted to show him I could be his rock.

He was silent and numb at first but that quickly shifted to rude and unreasonable, until he finally hit a breaking point.

It was as if everything good in him shriveled up and all that was left was a monster.

I’ll never forget those awful words he uttered at me, the ones that drove me away. His hazel eyes were cold and face hard as he purged me from his life like some sort of disease.

I’d kept in touch with his sister Avery over the years, checking in on him and her, but that was the closest I would let myself get.

He was my mate, a scent match that meant we were tied together, yet I wasn’t enough for him to keep me around.

Cameron wanted me gone and I gave him that. Any fight in me drained at the cold delivery of his dismissal.

He didn’t deserve me. If he could throw me away so easily then I could and would do better.

And I did. Roman was everything I needed and wanted in a mate. Caring, selfless, funny, open to communication. Without the filter of puppy love, I saw all the flaws in my previous relationship with fresh eyes.

The doctor’s gentle hand on my arm brought me out of my spiraling thoughts and he leaned in, making sure I was still with him.

“There you are,” he hummed, looking even more worried. “I can’t prescribe them anymore and if you go to someone else, lie to get them, it will cost you motherhood. Those are the hard, awful facts, I’m afraid. There are other options…”

I cut him off, voice harder than intended but he didn’t hold it against me.

“What, like heat partners?” I let out a hollow laugh as he nodded. The thought of giving my body to any other alpha than a scent match made me want to puke.

Heat partners could be assigned through The Omega Network Clinics, anonymous and string free, tested and safe. Yet, I couldn’t imagine being so vulnerable with a stranger.

I’d rather suffer without a knot, which seemed to be the fate waiting for me. I had Roman, and maybe this wouldn’t be bad if I had never bonded. But I had. That bond was severed, which meant my bodyknewthere was an alpha not there with me and revolted.