Page 30 of Untouchable Player
He looks up at me and meets my gaze for a second before looking away again, “since I was a kid, I’d planned to go to M.I.T.”
“The college?”
“Yes, the college.” He smiles. “I had posters and flags and sweatshirts, everything, I was going to M.I.T. But then I applied, and I didn’t get in.”
Fuck. I imagine Nate’s disappointment and it feels like a rock’s been dropped into the pit of my stomach.
“I didn’t even want to go to college after that, but I realised I had to, so I let my mom make the decision for me and ended up staying at home with my parents. Now I don’t expect anything. I know that whatever plans I make could be ruined and I’ll have no control over them.”
“But you study so hard.”
“I have to.”
“Why?”
“Because…” he swallows and his cheeks get pink, “because I realised I’m not as smart as I thought I was.”
“Bullshit.”
I don’t mean it to come out so aggressive. Nate’s head snaps in my direction, his eyes wide.
“M.I.T are fucking idiots. It’s their loss and our gain.”
A smile tugs at one side of his mouth, but I can see he doesn’t really agree.
“Seriously, colleges reject people for stupid reasons. Like, you didn’t volunteer at the right outreach programme, or you don’t have an interesting back story, like, fuck them man, don’t let it make you feel like you’re not smart enough, because you are.”
He looks down at his shoes and laughs.
“Maybe,” he mutters.
“I’d tell you I got rejected from plenty of colleges, but that wouldn’t make you feel any better.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m dumb, so it makes sense that I’d get rejected.”
“You’re not dumb.”
A little firework sizzles in the pit of my stomach, but doesn’t quite go off because I know he’s just being polite.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to say that.”
“I’m not just saying it. You’re not dumb.”
I swallow. I want to tell him to stop being so nice. I already like him way more than I should. But I can’t. I like hearing him say nice things about me.
“You’re here aren’t you? You passed three years of college so far, and you played college hockey while doing it, which I know isn’t easy. Instead of studying over the summer like I did, you had to go and play exhibition games in Europe. I couldn’t do that.”
I nudge him with my shoulder, gently, because I don’t know what to say. And because I don't want to knock him off the bench.
The bus comes crawling down the street and Nate stands up. I want to grab his hand and pull him back down and… what? Kiss him. Yeah right. Like he’d want me to do that.
Nate
Nobody’s home when I get back, mom’s car isn’t parked in the driveway, neither is dad’s, but then, that’s no surprise. I go straight up to my room to study, but the second I step into my room, it feels different. It takes me a second to realise this weird changed atmosphere is due to me letting someone else in. Save Harrison occasionally bursting in to steal something, no one comes in here. Even Katie doesn’t come to the house. We always hang out at her apartment because my mom isn’t there, trying to involve herself in our conversations and feed us cookies.
Jesse was in here and he took a shower in my bathroom. I let that sink in for a second. The image of him in just a towel standing right over there… nope.