Page 29 of Storm's Mistake

Only, each time they were together, the moment they were finished, she’d leave. Sometimes, she wouldn’t even say anything. She’d just leave. He wasn’t used to feeling this helpless.

Looking toward Pam, he didn’t want to tell her what was happening. He’d even been tempted with making an ultimatum. He’d have sex with Lisa, but afterward she would have to pay him in hugs and attention, but that seemed wrong. Also, he loved having sex with Lisa, and he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.

“How is Lisa?” he asked.

Pam frowned. “You’re the one living with her.”

“And you’re one of her friends. I can’t talk to Adele, because I don’t think she likes me that much.”

“But you think I do?” Pam asked, with this big smile on her face.

Any other time, he might have been entertained, but he wasn’t feeling it today.

“Has she said anything about me? About us?”

“No,” Pam said. “She seems happier, but she doesn’t talk about your relationship.”

Shadow gritted his teeth. He was hoping there would beanswers there, with the way she talked to her friends, but once again he was in the dark.

“Something is clearly bothering you. Why don’t you ask her?” Pam asked.

“I … I messed up,” Shadow said.

This caused Pam to fold her hands across her chest. “Go on.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“What you’re feeling, that might help?”

Shadow put the axe down. He ran fingers through his hair, and he glanced back at the house.

“How do you make it up to someone when you say bad shit about them, lie, and … mess up?” he asked.

“And what kind of messed-up shit and lies are we talking about here?” Pam asked.

“Come on, stop making this harder for me. You know what bad shit I’m talking about. The bad shit where I messed everything up with Lisa, and she doesn’t trust me. That’s it, isn’t it? She doesn’t believe I’m here for her and that I want to be with her?” he asked.

Pam shrugged. “Look, Lisa knows you’re my Alpha, and because of that, I am kind of obligated to listen and do as you say. If you were to start questioning me about how Lisa is doing, she knows I would have to tell you.”

“And so, she’s not saying a word.”

He moved toward the bench near several trees that his grandfather planted years ago. “I can’t believe I messed up so badly,” he said.

“Just because Lisa won’t tell me every little detail of her feelings, it doesn’t mean I don’t understand her. She’s hurting. She loves you more than anything, and I know that hurt her before the pregnancy.”

“I thought this pregnancy was going to be a gift. It’sgotten her close to me again, living in the same house. We talk every now and then, and we do other things, but I don’t think it is quite the gift I thought.”

“You messed up and now you’re paying the price, but remember, Shadow, you didn’t think you’d done anything wrong. While Lisa was falling in love with you, you were just using her.”

Shadow laughed. It wasn’t a nice sound, or even close to being entertaining. It was forced and not quite accurate to how he was feeling. He hated being reminded of what he had said. It angered him, the fool he’d been.

“I was never using her,” Shadow said. “I didn’t understand my own feelings, and I fucked up, big time.” He snorted. “Wow, I so did fuck up in a big way.” He sighed. “There is no way I can make this right. I know what I said, and I know it was all lies, but Lisa doesn’t know that.”

Pam moved to sit beside him. “What’s wrong?”

“I love her, Pam. It scares me how she makes me feel. When I’m with her, it is like everything makes sense, and when we’re apart, nothing makes sense. Nothing is right.”

“Why?” Pam asked.