Page 60 of Never Bargain with the Boss
There’s a heartbeat of silence, and then another, as the women look from me to each other, a private conversation in each of their glances that doesn’t include me. A pit opens in my stomach. In clarifying my relationship with Cameron, I’ve effectively reminded them that I’m not one of them, but ratherthe hired help—Grace’s nanny, Janey’s mother’s helper. It’s a role I’m used to filling and I’ve seen how this goes, so I prepare myself to be pushed to the outside of their easy camaraderie, knowing it’s coming.
It's okay. I know my place. In some families I’ve been with, they invite you to meals, parties, and vacations, and you begin to feel like you’re a part of something bigger and deeper, but there’s always an end date to the placement, the job, the relationship. Everyone leaves me at some point, and this family, no matter how amazing and welcoming they may be, are no different.
Eventually, it’ll be time for me to leave here too, either because they ask me to or when I see the time is right so I don’t overstay my usefulness.
“Dad would never fire you. He loves you,” Grace asserts.
I choke on my tongue and force a laugh, the sound too high-pitched to be natural. “No, he doesn’t.” Grace’s smile falls and her brows slam together. Wanting to soothe her, I rush to add, “He likes me. How could he not? I’m the best nanny you’ve ever had.” I lean her way, bumping my shoulder against hers.
“You are,” she agrees, but her eyes are filled with questions. “But that’s not why Dad loves you. It’s because you make him smile. He never used to do that, and he smiles all the time now because of you.”
I thought the table was silent. I was wrong.Thisis silence. Pure, complete absence of sound.
I glance around nervously, stammering out, “Yeah, probably because I’m making him do silly things like fashion shows and pumpkin carving.” The argument falls flat, no one believing me, which isn’t a surprise since I don’t even believe me.
Cameron does smile more than he did when I first arrived. But his happiness doesn’t mean he loves me. He wants me, and I do think he likes me, but love is a depth of emotion I’m notsure he’s even capable of anymore, outside of his love for his daughter.
“Cameron is fucked-up,” Kayla says bluntly, drawing everyone’s attention as she taps her temple. “But sometimes, it takes one fucked-up person to understand another.” She turns her finger toward me, making it clear that I’m the ‘another’ in that scenario. I should be offended, but she’s spot-on, so there’s no use in denying it. She also somehow manages to make it sound insulting about Cameron and complimentary toward me, though I’m not sure how she does it. “They can sense the trauma responses and deal with the damage better. I think a jagged saw” —she deliberately looks me up and down before pinning me with a hard look— “might sometimes be even better than a scalpel to get to the good heart beneath the scarring. It takes longer, it’s messier, and it hurts more, but in the long run, it breaks up the scar tissue better.”
Shocked to my core, I stare at Kayla. I’m not sure why she thinks I’m equipped to handle Cameron’s trauma when she doesn’t even know me. But maybe she does…
What has Cameron told her?
I left behind schoolgirl gossip a long time ago, but I desperately want to ask outright what he’s said about me, hoping and wishing it’d give me some insight into the hot- and cold-running man.
“That is… graphic… and gross,” Samantha says, her nose crinkled in disgust. “Yet therapeutically accurate as hell. I approve.” She nods like her approval is valuable, and given she’s apparently an actual therapist, I guess it is. Everyone at the table treats it as such, somehow also giving weight to Kayla’s assessment.
“Dad isn’t fu—” Grace starts to say, but quickly corrects her repeat of Kayla’s words, “fudged up. Neither is Riley. And you’rebeing mean.” The hostile glare she’s shooting at her favorite aunt could ignite a bonfire.
The fact that her anger is on my behalf, and that she’s willing to defend my honor against her beloved family, makes my heart clench in my chest.God, I love this little girl.
“Grace,” I say, drawing her attention to me. She cuts her eyes to me, giving Kayla the smallest reprieve, and I can feel everyone else’s attention settle on me too. They want to hear how I’m going to address this, like it’s a live-action, front-row seat demonstration of my abilities. Thankfully, if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s understanding the nuances of people’s intentions and I definitely think Kayla’s are good. “Thank you for having my back. That’s a perfect example of being a girl’s girl.”
Her shoulders tighten down and back like she’s ready to go to battle for me. She nods once like she’s got me, no matter what. I can’t contain the smile that spreads across my face because I’m so proud of how far she’s come in such a short period of time.
“I know it sounds like Kayla said a mean thing… about me, and about your dad too. But, in a way, she was giving me a compliment.” Grace’s brows shoot together in confusion, and I sigh. This is a tricky explanation, and getting it into terms that she’ll understand is difficult, but necessary. “Sometimes, the best, most important things take hard work, and Kayla was telling me that she thinks I can handle the hard stuff. And that Cameron can too.”
“So she means…” Grace starts, tilting her head as she still tries to piece it together, “that you’re tough?”
“I am,” I say, nodding. “And so is your dad. And so are you.” I boop the tip of her nose with my newly blue nail, and she smiles tentatively. “We’ve all been through things that would break some people, but we’re still here, making the best out of every day, and that takes strength and courage. It’s a toughness I wishyou didn’t have—wish I didn’t have too—but we do, so it’s what we make of it that matters most.”
“Okay,” she says slowly. Her eyes drop to her hands, where she’s picking at her perfect manicure, and I lay my hand over hers, stilling the anxious movement with a supportive squeeze. She swallows thickly and then looks back up at me. I give her an encouraging smile, and she turns her eyes back to her aunt. “Sorry for calling you mean, Aunt K.”
“No apology needed,” Kayla tells her, shaking her head with a soft smile. “I like that you stood up to me when you felt like it was warranted. That’s what good friends… and good people… do.” Grace brightens at the praise from her favorite aunt and sits a little straighter. “I didn’t intend to hurt you, Riley, or Cameron with what I said. I think Riley is amazing for getting your dad to smile, especially considering what a stick in the mud he’s always been.”
Grace laughs at Kayla’s good-natured assessment of Cameron, but then she peeks at me and proclaims, “He’s notthatbad. He’s cute, right, Riley?” She blinks innocently, but there is nothing naïve about her question.
My guts churn at being put on the spot this way, and when I quick-glance around the table, everyone is hanging on the edge of their seats with tiny smirks on their faces. They already know my answer. There’s no denying it. I wouldn’t, anyway. Lying’s not my style.
“Yeah, I guess he’s fine,” I drawl out dramatically, making it totally obvious that I’m downplaying Cameron’s considerable attractiveness.
Janey snort laughs, and I catch her eye, remembering that she’s already figured out that I might have a teeny-tiny, little-bitty crush. But she’s pressing her lips together tightly, keeping my secret the way a good friend does.
“Sure, if you’re into blond, blue-eyed guys who spend more time talking about the stock market instead of addressing their completely unavailable emotions, then yeah, he’s…cute.” Kayla clips out the last word, making it sound ridiculously underwhelming as she gives me a knowing grin.
Ironically, beyond his schedule, I don’t think Cameron has once discussed his work with me, but we’ve spent quite a few hours and many cups of tea talking about our feelings.
Dani leans forward and advises, “You might as well give up now. They’re incredibly stubborn, and that’s coming from me, the Queen of Stubbornness. Once they decide you’re in, there’s no escape. You’re basically in the Harrington circle now.”