Page 57 of Never Bargain with the Boss
In response, Kayla physically shoves me, forcing me to face her. “Don’t be rash.” She blinks in shock, like that’s something she never thought she’d say to me, of all people, which is understandable. I’m not known for my impulsivity. My sister and I are two peas in a pod—methodical, practical, logical. Or at least we are at work. She’s tight-lipped and private about herpersonal life outside of family dramatics, but I trust her advice implicitly.
Except when she’s giving me hope amid a situation where I don’t deserve to have any.
“Don’t fire her. By your own report, and certainly by Janey’s, she’s amazing, so that would be idiotic.” She makes it sound like that’s completely obvious, but when she sees my answering scowl, she suggests, “Maybe you just need to get laid? By someone other than Riley, of course.”
No one would expect Kayla, the prim and proper, always chic businesswoman, to say that. But she grew up with five brothers, so there’s not much off the table with her.
“I’m not some hormone-driven teenager who chases anything with a hole,” I tell her, disappointed in her cavalier attitude about something so dire. “I’m not horny. I’m attracted to Riley, despite every cell in my brain telling me—no,yellingat me—not to be.”
“Okay, then try being not so…you… and see where things lead with her.”
I grunt, not agreeing but also not arguing. Mostly because it sounds suspiciously enticing.
She hums, nodding like she understands my dilemma. “It’s definitely playing with fire. But fire can give life-sustaining warmth if you’re careful.”
I jerk my gaze to her, ready to debate my case because she clearly doesn’t understand what’s happening and what the risks might be, for me and for Grace. Hell, even for Riley, because I don’t want to hurt her. She deserves better than that. She sure as hell deserves better than me.
Kayla holds her hand up, shutting me up. “Do you know that it’s been nine years since you’ve said her name?” She doesn’t say Michelle, but we both know who she’s talking about. “Yet, you did. It rolled off your tongue like it was any other word,any other name.” I open my mouth to rebut that, but she keeps steamrolling over me. “If that’s Riley’s doing, it’s for your own good. Keep her around. Explore things a bit more.”
“That’s a bad idea,” I mutter. “It feels… messy.” To me, that’s a severe offense, and we both know it.
“Messy can be good… and fun… and healing. It’s about damn time you loosen up a little.” She wiggles the tie at my throat, pulling it tighter despite her advice to relax. “You deserve happiness, Cam. Michelle would want that for you. Just don’t hurt Riley in the process, yeah?”
My breath catches when she says my wife’s name. Riley said it the other night, but beyond that, it’s been so long since I’ve heard it from someone in my family, it hits me physically. It usually only echoes in my head, and not nearly as often as it used to. But the expected twinge of pain doesn’t come.
Instead, there’s a teeny-tiny spark somewhere in my chest. It feels… good? Like I can see the happiness we had, not only the loss I experienced.
“What about Grace?” I ask quietly. “She loves Riley and I don’t want to mess that up.”
She waves her hands. “What about her? I’m not telling you to fuck Riley in the middle of the kitchen. Especially not when Grace is home. I’m suggesting you be open to seeing what happens.”
Unbidden, an image of Riley bent over the island, one hand twisted in her ridiculously pink hair, the other gripping her luscious ass, and my dick in her sweet pussy paints across my mind. I think I groan because Kayla smacks my shoulder.
“I saidnotto do that.” When I blink and refocus on my sister, she’s grinning like she knows exactly where my mind went. “But let me know if Grace and I need to have a girls’ night so you can get your freak on.” She winks suggestively at me, a grin pulling at her lips.
“You do need to organize a spa day with Mom for Grace’s Fall Ball. My treat for everyone to get their nails done. Riley too.” Kayla’s eyes light up with hope. “But I’m not doing what you said—pawning Grace off on you for an overnight or fucking Riley.” As I say it, I push down the desire that’s trying to build, refusing to consider Kayla’s ill-advised recommendation, but a too-bold confession falls off my tongue. “I very nearly did that already.”
“WHAT?!” Kayla shouts as she grabs ahold of my arm and jerks me back and forth ruthlessly. “Lead with that! What?!”
I sigh heavily, scrubbing my hand over my smooth face. I’m suddenly so exhausted, tired of thinking about this, of feeling this, of wanting this. It would be so easy to go back to when things were simple—when Grace’s nannies were virtually nameless, faceless women who’d disappear when I walked in the door, and it was just Grace and me. It was so uncomplicated.
And it was so boring.Every day the same, every smile forced. I was going through the motions of life, merely existing, not living.
I’ve been more alive the last few weeks than I have been in years. Nine, to be exact.
“We were talking and fell asleep on the couch,” I explain, mostly to stop Kayla’s continued attack on my arm. “I was dreaming, but it wasn’t a dream. When I woke up, I realized I was…” I stutter, trying to say this as delicately as possible. “Touching her. I immediately pushed her away and apologized… several times.” I tilt my head, wishing there’d been something I could’ve said that would’ve made up for what I’d done.
Kayla snorts as she releases me. “Gee, I bet she loved that.” Sarcasm is threaded through every word, and I swear she’s asking the wood-paneled ceiling for help in dealing with me given the way she’s now staring up at it.
“Definitely not,” I admit. “But we talked, and it’s okay. I think. Or as okay as it can be.” I’m hemming and hawing, twothings I don’t do. “We agreed that it was only natural, but we’re not mindless animals and can make the choice to restrain ourselves.”
Kayla’s eyes lock on mine, boring in deep. “Ourselves? As in, she likes you too? I thought this was some one-sided schoolboy crush I was going to have to help you cope with when it imploded. I’m already planning the ice cream binge nights to soothe your broken heart, and now you’re saying she likes you too? That changeseverything.”
“It changes nothing,” I growl. “I’m still her boss, and old enough to be her… uncle.”
“And still a stupid asshole,” Kayla adds, most unhelpfully. But her eyes narrow and she adds, “How old is she? Does she meet the age halved, plus five rule?”
“Kayla! That is a gross simplification,” I scold. She doesn’t back down in the slightest. In fact, she gets right in my face, which is no small task considering she’s several inches shorter than me even in stilettos.