Page 42 of I Am Sin

ChapterFourteen

Dragon

I’m back at the diner, and it’s not nearly as crowded at this hour, though it is open twenty-four hours, so people are still here eating.

Lexi’s off duty, but another server I know, Carmen, is taking care of me.

“Coffee?” she asks.

“No. I have enough trouble sleeping as it is.” I yawn. “Another slice of that awesome cherry pie and some ice water, please.”

The other great thing about this diner is they don’t serve liquor. They’re a true old-fashioned diner, where you can get basic food and ice cream desserts. In fact…

“Give me a chocolate malt too, Carmen.”

“You got it.” She winks at me. “I’ll be back.”

Chocolate malt and cherry pie. I really was lying when I told Diana I don’t go for sweets. Luckily I don’t gain weight easily. I probably didn’t need both. Since I already had cherry pie once today, I probably should have just gone for the chocolate malt.

But there are times…

Times when I need something to do with my mouth. Because what my mouth really wants to do is smoke a joint. Suck on a beer bottle.

Or take a few pills.

Anything to get my head out of where it is.

I grab my phone.

A call from Diana.

I should call her, tell her I’m fine. Tell her I got off the roof.

I found the fire escape and climbed down. Nearly broke my neck in the process, but I made it. I thought about heading back to her place, or even back to the party… But my own thoughts plagued me, ate at me, so I’m back at the diner, where I can get something to put in my mouth that won’t make me high.

Except maybe a sugar high.

I have an emergency number for my therapist. He’ll take my call day or night if I need him to. He lets me do that because he knows I won’t abuse the privilege. I’ve only called twice since I got out of rehab.

Once, the day before the wedding, when I had to go to the rehearsal dinner, and then the wedding itself, where the booze would be flowing.

Then once again, after the wedding, to tell him I did fine and also ask his advice on whether I should move back to Denver.

We talked it through, and it turned out what I really needed to do was move back to Denver. Be away from my home on the western slope.

Be away from a lot of things.

A lot of memories.

I didn’t grow up on the western slope. I ended up there after I reached adulthood and got kicked out of the system.

I actually grew up in the suburbs of Denver.

That’s where my parents washed their hands of me, made me a ward of the state.

I always wondered why Griffin never told them the truth once she came out of shock.

Told them I wasn’t the one who hurt her.