Page 27 of I Am Sin

I told that therapist things I had never said aloud.

Things I hadn’t even let myself think about for so long.

Even so… I still kept one big secret to myself.

That one… I don’t think I’ll ever let out.

My thoughts are interrupted when Lexi comes back with our food.

Diana’s chicken fingers look pretty darned good, and the fries look fresh and crispy.

In opposition, my Salisbury steak looks a little gray around the gills. It smells okay—beefy and savory—but I’m thinking about what Diana’s crispy fries might feel like as I bite into them.

Not a problem, though. The special is always cheap, and I’m used to industrial-type food. It’s pretty much all we got at rehab.

“Thank you.” Diana smiles at Lexi.

“Not a problem, sweetheart. You two just let me know if you need anything else, okay?” Lexi flaunts away.

Diana inhales and then grabs a napkin from the holder and places it in her lap. Is she waiting for me to eat?

“Please, go ahead.”

She smiles, picks up her knife and fork, and cuts a piece off one of her chicken fingers.

Seriously? She’s eating chicken fingers with a knife and fork? It’s a little ridiculous, but also just a touch endearing. She’s so well-mannered.

That said, if she does the same with her fries, I may have to say something.

She doesn’t though, thank God. She grabs the bottle of ketchup from the holder and squeezes some onto her plate. Then she picks up a fry, dips it, and takes a bite.

I actually hear the crispy crunch when she bites into it.

And I’m really wanting a fry.

“You want to try a fry?” she asks.

“That’s okay.”

“You sure? Because you’re eyeing them like a dog salivating over a Thanksgiving turkey.”

I avert my gaze. “No, I’m not.”

She lets out a low chuckle. “Actually, you are.” She picks up a fry. “Ketchup?”

I nod.

She swirls it in the ketchup and then hands it to me.

I take it from her—it would be rude not to—and bite off half of the fry. The tomato tang of the ketchup and the warm crispiness of the potato… I close my eyes. Man, I do love fries. I savor it, and then I try the Salisbury steak.

The flavor is decent. Basic. I like basic. Basic doesn’t judge you. It just is.

I know what good food is. I’ve been to enough parties at Diana’s parents’ house. They put together massive galas, and they often hire Dragonlock to perform. The other band members and I get to partake in whatever huge feast they put out for the night.

Steel beef is usually a centerpiece—grass-fed meat that melts in your mouth. One of Diana’s aunts is a gourmet chef, so the spread is always spectacular.

So is the drink—usually wine paired with the food and provided by Steel Vineyards.