Page 111 of Dear John

“Isla, you have no fucking idea how much I want to kiss you right now. I’ve wanted you for so fucking long, but not like this.”

“What?”

“If we’re going to die, it’ll be with you in my arms. But I will not kiss you just because it could be the last thing we ever do. If we survive this somehow—when I take you in my arms and kiss you, it will be because we both want it. Not because we’re about to die.”

I didn’t want to admit to myself how disappointed I was in his choice. But he was right. If we got out of this alive…

Everything about this was wrong. He admitted this to me as we were about to die? How was that fair? Then again, how was it fair to find out he felt something for me and now it was about to be taken away? I wished he had told me sooner, but I understood why he hadn’t. I was with Kavanaugh. And now I would never know if IKE and I could have had something because we were going to die. I could already feel my body giving out, depleted from lack of water and food. No one was coming. No one knew where we were.

I could be mad about all of this, but I didn’t want my last hours on earth to be filled with anger. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his cheek. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Too little too late,” he huffed.

“Better late than never.”

He tugged me back to him and pressed his lips to my forehead again. “Sing me another song.”

So, as tired as I was, I sang another Christmas song to him, and together we watched the lights go out one by one.

36

KAVANAUGH

Blood still stainedmy hands as I kicked down the door of the high-rise apartment in New York City. Screams rippled through the air as Red and Eli burst in behind me, guns drawn with the one stipulation that they weren’t actually allowed to kill anyone. I needed answers, and the men in the van led us here.

“Down on the ground!” I shouted at the man who Isla had interviewed with just days earlier. I still didn’t understand the connection, but I was about to find out.

With a snarl, he dropped to his knees, his hands in the air. “What’s the meaning of this?”

I took a few steps closer, keeping my distance even though I wanted to tear out this guy’s throat. “Where is Isla?”

“Your boss?” he sneered.

“My girlfriend. But you already knew that. Where the fuck is she?” Hatred gleamed in this man’s eyes, but I couldn’t figure out why. “This can’t be because she turned down the job offer.”

“Of course it’s not,” he spat. “Still don’t know who I am, do you?”

We found out who took Isla and came right over here. Digging into their pasts had been cursory at best. There was no time to waste when we found out that these bastards hadordered a couple of guns-for-hire to snatch them and bring them to a meetup location. But they didn’t know what happened to them after that.

“Does it fucking matter?”

He smirked at that. “You haven’t changed a single bit, have you, Bradford.”

He knew my name. This was about me. “What did you do?”

“It’s called payback. Of course, if it had worked out the way I had planned, you’d be in there right now with her instead of that other guy.”

“What the hell did I ever do to you? I don’t even know you!”

He barked out a sharp laugh and Red stepped forward, slamming the butt of his gun into the man’s head, shutting him up instantly. I turned to the wife, hoping I could get something out of her.

“I need to know where they are.”

“You need,” she sneered. “You always need.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You and your whole family. You screw over whoever you want and move on with life. You don’t care who you hurt or what happens to anyone else.”