Page 130 of Hurry Up And Wait

“No,” he said after a moment of staring at me. “No, it doesn’t. I told you?—”

I rolled my eyes. “If I have to hear one last time about how you toldme he was going to break my heart…just save it. It’s done and over with.”

“But it’s not,” he sighed. “Because you’re sitting here, depressed as hell, unable to eat anything other than crap, and you’re wondering why no one told you. It’s eating at you, and until you figure out a way to either forget him or forgive him, nothing is going to change.”

I knew he was right. I needed to sort through things in my head and figure out my next step. I knew Kavanaugh would come home eventually, and when he did, he’d want to talk. He’d been calling me multiple times a day, leaving me voicemails and pleading with me to hear him out. But I wasn’t ready for that. I shut off my phone two days ago and hadn’t bothered to listen to any more of his messages.

Well, until last night when I broke down and secretly turned on my phone when Riley wasn’t watching. The first one nearly broke me. The pleading for forgiveness and the desperation in his voice made me burst into tears. It was pathetic and sad, but I couldn’t help it. I still remembered the boy I grew up with, and the way I felt when I saw him in the grocery store when we arrived. He lit up my life, and if it weren’t for this job, everything would have been good between us. How did I move on from that?

“So…food?”

He was right. I had to get past this. And the first step was eating something other than candy.

“Tacos.”

32

RILEY

“That movie was terrible,”Bowie grumbled as we strolled down the sidewalk.

“I know. It was so sappy. If I have to see another man cry in a movie theater, I might just lose it.”

“No self-respecting man cries over a woman. No offense.”

I scoffed at that. “None taken. No woman wants a man who cries. I mean, maybe if there’s some life-altering change, but not because you’re finally admitting you’re in love.”

He stopped on the sidewalk and settled his hands on my hips, tugging me closer. “And what about non-imaginary men in your life? What do you want out of them?”

My eyebrows shot up at his question. “Are you asking me because you want me to tell you my deepest, darkest secrets or for research?”

“Research, obviously.”

I grinned at him. “Well, I do happen to like mechanics who are strong and protective.”

“That’s interesting considering that you ignored me when IKE came along.”

“That was for research for women,” I argued. “A man like IKE islike the Loch Ness Monster. We’ve heard of men who are like him, but no women have ever seen a man like him up close.”

“And what makes him so special?”

I pretended to think about it, which only made him grip my hips tighter. “Well…he’s broody.”

“I could be broody.”

“He has a sexy swagger.”

He scowled at me. “And what do I do? Walk like a girl?”

I grinned, continuing with my list. “And he smokes.”

“That’s fucking disgusting.”

“I would agree, but on him…the suit, the slicked hair, the swagger…it completes the look. You could never pull it off.”

“Not that I would want to,” he grumbled. “Who wants to be like IKE?”

“See, that’s where you’re getting this all wrong. IKE is a type of man?—”