Page 113 of Play the Last Card

“Do you want me to take you home?” I ask, staring down into her face. I expect tears. My girl is a sensitive soul and she cries at commercials if they’re even remotely sad. I stoke a thumb over her cheek, desperately wanting her to give me a sign of what she may want here. No answers, no tears. She simply stares ahead. She’s numb.

When she doesn’t reply, I nod at Katie and she makes her way toward us.

I press another kiss to Ivy’s forehead, lingering as I revel in having her in my arms again.

“Okay. Katie’s going to take you home.” I kiss her again, hoping with my whole heart that she can feel what I’m trying to tell her.

I love you.

I miss you.

I’ll be here when you’re ready.

“I’ll see you soon.” I wait again for any sign from my girlfriend. There is a beat of silence. Then she looks up. She rises on her toes, silently asking for a kiss.

As always, I oblige.

Her lips are soft and just as I remembered them.I love you.

Before I know it, she lets Katie remove her from my embrace and guide her toward the entry of the church. Everyone is waiting to say goodbye to her so I let her go.

I watch her walkaway.

I’m getting so sick of watching her walk away.

“Hey, man.” Someone clears their throat beside me. I realize Grant followed Katie and is now standing in front of me, hands in his pockets. “Thank you for taking the night shifts this week at the house. Katie is so worried about Ivy and scared to leave her alone. Naturally, I worry about Katie.” He chuckles a little and rubs the back of his neck. I just stare blankly, waiting for him to get to his point.

“Anyway, pretty sure Katie would’ve moved in by now if you weren’t sleeping at the house with Ivy each night. So, yeah, thanks.”

Ah.

He’s talking about the self-induced torture I’ve been partaking in every night since Billy passed away. Sneaking into the dark house and sleeping on the couch just in case Ivy needs something. Making her breakfast and then leaving before she wakes up.

I haven’t spoken to her. I haven’t touched her. It’s killed me.

But I’ve been there. Just in case.

“Does Ivy know?” My throat feels like sandpaper.

“I don’t think so. Katie says she’s not been talking all that much.”

Katie calls Grant's name, the sound echoing off the high ceilings of the church. Grant nods at his girlfriend before holding his hand out to shake mine.

“Thanks again. Oh and hey, good luck with the game tomorrow night.”

***

“A lot of people turning out for this.” Flynn glances around at the fans filing into the stadium. We stand close to the center of the field as a team. All the boys are dressed in suits. The wider organizational staff have joined us. A few players from Billy’s old team sit on the opposite side of the stage.

“Everyone’s turning up to say goodbye.” The words almost get stuck in my throat. I shove my hands deep into my pockets, trying to not fiddle or reach for my phone. My eyes wander over the crowd on the field, once again looking for her.

“How’s Ivy doing?” Flynn asks. “You still sleeping there every night?”

“Mostly. Sometimes Ivy stays up later or even all night and Katie tells me not to come.” I shrug, the ache in my chest intensifying. I’m pretty certain Ivy knows that I’ve been sleeping on her couch the last week but she also hasn’t spoken to anyone other than Katie.

Everyone’s worried.

I am too, but fuck if I don’t miss her more than anything else right now.