Page 54 of ‘I Do’ for Revenge
Vito stood for long moments at his window, as the faintest trails of dawn started to light the sky outside. He waited for a sense of relief to start spreading through him—the relief that always came when things ended with a lover. Whether it was after a night, or two nights, or a week. Because a week had always been his limit before. But not with Flora. It had been several weeks. How many? He wasn’t even sure. For some reason his brain wouldn’t function. It was stuck on a loop like a broken record, a loop of Flora’s declaration:‘I love you.’
She didn’t love him. She couldn’t.
She’d told him:‘Don’t worry, I would have to be the biggest idiot on the planet to trust you with my heart.’
The fact that he remembered those exact words wasn’t something Vito cared to think about now.
The notion that she could have somehow come to trust him enough to give him her heart was unthinkable to Vito. The thought that perhaps she’d seen something in him—something worth loving—made no sense to him. His life had been consumed with revenge and mining his hurt and pain to succeed. He’d lost anything in him worth loving when his parents had died.
But in the first moment of hearing those words, when his body had still been so deeply embedded in hers, he’d not reacted with rejection—he’d felt a blooming sense of warmth, as if he were melting from the inside out.
Her saying she loved him had been a shock, that was all. She’d caught him off guard.
It was as if his brain had just taken a second to catch up, to realise what she’d said. And then he’d felt Flora’s legs and arms around him, holding him, and he’d felt two very different impulses vying for supremacy—Stay, sink deeper, never let her goandGo, leave now, run.
So he’d run. He felt the tension thrumming through his body now. The urge to go. Put distance between them. Put distance between him and those words that even now felt as if they were living breathing things, whispering around him, making him remember what it had been like to bask in the unconditional love of his father and his mother. The feeling of security—that nothing would ever harm them, or their world.
But they had been harmed. And their world had exploded. And everything had been lost. So Vito would never trust that feeling again and he certainly wouldn’t succumb to it.
The next morning Flora felt gritty-eyed. She’d showered and changed into her own clothes, faded jeans and a shirt. Hair pulled back into a loose plait to try and tame it.
She felt numb inside. She’d done this. She’d hastened the demise of her and Vito’s relationship by revealing her feelings. But maybe it was for the best. She needed to get on with her life. Without Vito.
She went into the kitchen first and attended to Benji, giving him his food. She heard a sound and looked up but, heart thumping, discovered it was just Sofia, who told her that Vito was in the dining room having breakfast.
Then Flora blushed when she remembered the previous evening. ‘I’m sorry, I made dinner and left everything—’
The woman smiled and shook her head. ‘No problem, it’s nice to see the kitchen get some use.’ She winked at Flora, who smiled back weakly. The thought of seeing Vito was making her guts churn, but she steeled herself and went into the dining room.
He was taking a sip of coffee and reading something on his tablet. He looked up and Flora instantly felt as wan and tired as he looked fresh and rested. Clearly not remotely heartbroken. But she was determined not to expose herself any more than she already had. Forcing a bright smile, she sat down. ‘Good morning.’
‘Morning. Coffee?’ He held up the pot and Flora held out her cup, hoping her hand would stay steady. It did, as he poured her some of the fragrant drink. Small mercies. She took a fortifying sip.
Sofia came in with fresh fruit and pastries. Flora smiled at her. When she’d left Vito cleared his throat. Flora pretended putting together her granola, fruit and yoghurt was suddenly the most important thing she’d ever done in her life.
‘Flora.’
Damn. She looked up. Vito had put down the tablet. He looked...
Oh,no, the worst.
She saw pity on his face.
He said, ‘Look, last night—’
She put up a hand. ‘I don’t really want to discuss it. We said all that was needed. I’ll move out today and we can move on.’
‘You don’t have to move out.’
The thought of living here in some kind of torturous limbo with Vito made Flora shudder. ‘I do, but thank you.’
‘No, you really don’t. I’m going to New York today, within the hour, and then to London. I won’t be back for about ten days.’
Flora had just stuffed a mouthful of granola and fruit and yoghurt into her mouth. It might as well have been cardboard for all she tasted of it. She managed to swallow without choking.
Vito said, ‘I’m not just going to kick you out. You’ll have time to get settled again.’
She knew from past experience not to be too proud. ‘Thank you. I’ll be sorted by the time you get back.’