Page 8 of Ribbons and Roses
A slow sigh puffs out of me.
I hadn’t meant to upset Salvatore. I was only trying to get him to talk through his aversion to the holidays.
But it seems like maybe I did more harm than good.
“I have to find a way to make this time of year better for him,” I whisper. “But it’s not going to be through words. It’s got to be through actions. I’ve got toshowhim how it can be.”
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salvatore
“Daddy, make me a snowman!”Serena squeals with her brown eyes big and round. She scurries over to me, truly looking like Delphine when she was her age. I’ve seen enough photos to tell.
My little girl dashes straight into my open arms and giggles as I whisk her off her feet and hold her up high so that she’s level with me.
She loves the new vantage point, twisting in my arms to point at the mounds of snow covering our large backyard.
“Please,” she says, “Daddy, I want a snowman!”
“Don’t you mean a snowgirl, Rena?”
“Oooh, like me!”
“That’s right. Except you’re still cuter.”
She smiles, showing off her little teeth. “What about my hair? Will she have puffs too?”
“Of course she will. Let’s go make her.”
I walk Serena across the now-frozen lawn with her still hoisted up comfortably in my arms. She’s not the only one wanting to play in the snow this morning.
Dominic and Bryce have already gotten a head start. The six- and seven-year-olds are chasing each other back and forth with handfuls of snow clenched between their gloved fingers. Bryce’s tan face is pink from the cold while frost puffs out in front of Dominic as he lets out a loud laugh once he lands a hit.
His snowball smacks right into Bryce, his aim impeccable.
But the seven-year-old’s not to be outdone. He scoops up another fistful of snow and then launches after his friend for retaliation.
It’s the harmless kind of play between two young boys that makes me grin and shake my head. Meanwhile, I’ve got my princess in my arms, and she expects to be catered to by having a snowman in her likeness crafted.
It’s an interesting start to a Saturday morning.
Delphine’s inside, sipping coffee and chatting with Sasha and Shonda. The second the conversation turned to the Christmas decorations going up in the house, I excused myself under the guise of taking Rena outside.
The excuse was passable, though Delphine gave me a knowing glance.
She understands just why I suddenly wanted to go outside in the snow.
Yet she still doesn’t seem like shereallygets it. Or more like she believes it’s her duty to change things for me. Help me overcome more dark things from my past.
I’ve worked hard to be the father I am today.
For most of my life, I was convinced I couldn’t be a husband and father. After the experiences I had growing up, I thought I couldn’t give a woman and our children what they would need in order to live happy, healthy lives, and I refused to be anything like Lucius.
Things have been different with Delphine. I’ve learned it’s possible.
I can be the husband and father I never thought I could be.
You’d think that would solve all the problems. I’d have no more issues overcoming what Delphine would call past trauma. That hasn’t been the case.