Page 12 of The Goalie

I was pathetic, but I didn’t care in that moment. It felt too good.

He let out a grunt and followed with his own release soon after.

We were both sweaty and breathless when we finally untangled.

“So,” Dan said in a low voice. He made no move to pick up his clothes, let alone put them on. “You want to do it again?”

Sunlight weaseledits way between my eyelids, forcing me from my deep slumber. Before I allowed myself to open them up, I stretched deeply. I hadn’t slept that well in a while.

I rolled over, expecting to see a small dent in my bed but besides that, an empty space where Dan had been. Instead, I found him lying there, still beside me, sleeping. His nostrils flared each time he took in a breath. He was a lot less stressed in his sleep. He looked peaceful. He looked much younger than he was. Beautiful, even.

Did you just think Dan Holmes is beautiful?a voice in my head demanded to know.

I refused to answer that question. I didn’t want to admit anything. I definitely didn’t want to admit anything in regards to Dan.

I rolled to my back and stared up at the ceiling. What was I even doing here? Why had I gone to bed with Holmes? Sure, he was probably the best I had ever had—and I hated that it was true, but I couldn’t lie to myself, even if I wanted to. But just because he was good didn’t mean I needed to fuck him. I had him once, now twice. That was it. That was all I needed.

So much for lying to yourself.

I pressed my lips together. I wouldn’t let my subconscious needle me into a reaction.

I slid my eyes to the side. I couldn’t stop staring at him. Besides the fact that he was good-looking, I couldn’t believe he was actually here. Dan hated me just as much as I hated him. Sure, I fucked him, but he fucked me as well.

What were we doing?

Why were we doing it?

Did this mean things changed between us? Did this mean there was something there?

“You know, I can hear you thinking.”

I released a breath through my nose and threw my legs over the side of the bed. The best thing I could do was get away from him. If I stayed, I would be tempted to touch him. If I touched him, I might want to kiss him. And if I kissed him…

I refused to think where it could go from there even though I already knew. Even though I already experienced it twice.

“Do you want breakfast?” I picked up my underwear from the floor and slid it on before grabbing my shirt and doing the same. Doing something let me think about something except Dan.

“Are you going to cook it?” he asked, his voice doubtful.

I laughed despite myself. I leaned back and playfully smacked his shoulder.

“You’re a dick.”

“Did you think that was going to change?”

I paused.

No.

I didn’t think who he was would change just because he had sex with me a couple of times, just like me being a crap cook wasn’t going to change.

In a way, it was freeing to accept this. I had no expectations about what had happened between us. I didn’t need him to talk about our feelings after sex. I didn’t need him to cuddle with me or whisper nice things in my ear. I didn’t need to make love and neither did he.

“Look,” I said, my voice flat. “Do you want breakfast or not?”

His stomach rumbled and I grinned. Before I could stop myself, I poked his taut abdomen. God, maybe I could forego breakfast and let my hands linger on him.

Are you crazy? This is Dan Holmes, not some hottie you picked up from the gym.