Page 14 of The Defenseman

"Does my answer surprise you?" Eric asked as Alexa slid down next to him. Her body was still tense but her knee hit his own and she didn't move it.

"More like confuses me," she admitted, tilting her head to the side so her hair spilled over her shoulder.

"How so?"

She was surprised to see that he seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say.

"I just…" She didn't like to bring up Tim, especially in front of Eric, but she couldn't help it this time. "Tim essentially broke up with me because of my inexperience. I just figured that since I really have no idea what I'm doing, it would be more of a job than an enjoyable experience, because you would have to teach me how to make you happy. I guess I just assumed sex was something natural. Like, I should know how to make you happy even though I've never done this before."

He chuckled but not in a mean way. "You foolish girl," he said. She shot him a look but even she could recognize that there was nothing but warmth in his tone. "One of the greatest things about sex is that when you do it with a new partner, you don't know what they like either. It's all a guessing game—a fun guessing game that you get to participate in. For all my experience, I have no idea what's going to bring you pleasure and what isn't. What works for you might not work for someone else. That's the exciting part—figuring it all out. Now, I will admit, we have our work cut out for us because you don't know what works for you either. Yet. But that's where I come in."

"But I was thinking more about how to please you," Alexa said quickly. "I mean, a guy. Not necessarily you specifically. Me, I'm not concerned about."

"You should be," Eric said. He leaned forward and took a strand of her hair between his fingers before wrapping the strand around his index finger. "One of the most valuable things you can do is know exactly what you like and what you don't, so when you do meet someone and you do have sex, you know what you want, and you're comfortable enough to vocalize that want. This whole mind-reading bullshit you see in television shows and books doesn't actually happen in real life. In real life, there's lots of laughing and weird, embarrassing noises and you typically take off your own clothes and if you meet the wrong person, sometimes it feels more like work."

Alexa tilted her head to the side and Eric released his hold on her hair.

"What I'm trying to say without going on a tangent is," he said, "you need to know yourself. That makes it easier for your partner and it's easier for yourself."

"Okay," Alexa said slowly. "How do I figure it out? I've never…" She felt her face heat up and she was forced to look away again. "I've never actually done this—even to myself. I tried one time but nothing happened that was explosive and awe-inspiring so I thought I was doing it wrong and stopped."

She felt childish for even admitting that she couldn’t figure out her own body. Her face burned and she wasn’t able to look Eric in the eyes. He took her chin with his fingers and slowly turned her head until she was looking him in the eye. They were so close, they were sharing a breath, united as one. Alexa felt his eyes on her mouth and without thinking, her tongue slid out and darted across her bottom lip. Eric’s eyes widened, but Alexa wasn’t sure if it was because he was surprised by this turn of events or if it was because of something else. There was a darkness in his gaze, though it wasn’t bad. It was something that caused the hairs on her arms to stand straight up and her pelvis to pulse. Her insides turned to goo and melted so her core between her thighs began to drip.

She swallowed. Her throat was scratchy and she could not moisten it the way she wanted it to.

“Let me help you,” he said, his voice cracking. It almost sounded as though he was surprised by her response and wasn’t quite sure how to handle it.

She nodded her head, not trusting her voice. Eric gently turned her so she was lying on the couch and slowly began to peel off her pants. Goosebumps prickled the exposed skin. Eric did the same to her underwear before spreading her legs. He kissed the inside of her thigh and Alexa felt her gasp get caught in her throat, her eyes rolling to the back of her head.

When Eric’s tongue slid across her core, her eyes snapped open. She wasn’t expecting that. It both terrified her that someone could be so close to her center, and yet, there was part of her that was thrilled.

Eric continued to lick her, placing his hands close to her core, pulling the lips apart gently so he had better access to her clit. She was hit with so many feelings it was difficult to process them all. It was an odd sensation building up in her, but not entirely unwanted. Eric continued to maintain a steady pace, slurping her juices like she was the sweetest thing he had ever tasted. She began to relax, staring at the ceiling, not quite sure what to expect but anticipating it all the same.

The minute she relaxed, a bubbling feeling began to form in the pit of her stomach.

From there, what happened next was quick and earth-shattering. The bubbles got bigger and bigger, lighter and lighter, until the bubbles popped and a tidal wave of pleasure washed over her. Her body spasmed uncontrollably—she might have been embarrassed if she wasn’t cognizant of how amazing she felt—and Eric slowly pulled away.

This, Alexa realized. This was pleasure. This was what she had been missing out on all these years.

Fuck.