Page 11 of A Reputation Dark & Deadly

"I thought you said" - Peyton closed her eyes and shook her head. "Never mind, just forget I asked the question."

"No, no, no." She grinned. "Okay, yes, he has rules. He doesn't want things to get complicated. Kissing is a big no-no. To him, it's almost like assaulting him. I heard one girl did it anyway and he had her removed from his classroom. I'm not quite sure what he said as a reason but she was gone. Everything you've listed is probably true. He's also very open. Consent is a big thing to him so he wants his women to be clear and concise with what they want from him." She tilted her head to the side. "Why are you blushing?"

Peyton swallowed, hoping it wasn't obvious that she was getting more and more uncomfortable with where this direction was headed. It wasn't because of the sex talk, either. Rather, she had broken Logan's rule. She had kissed him. But he kissed her back.

She couldn't believe she had done it. She wanted to forget that she had done it. Peyton had today to avoid him but tomorrow was a different story. Not only did she have class with him but she had to TA and have office hours as well. Logically, it made sense to stack everything into two days out of the week rather than four but now this day with no Logan Jeffrey left her anticipating tomorrow's full day with him.

"Listen," Karla murmured, her eyes softening as she regarded Peyton's blush. "Logan is pretty black and white. Break his rules and you're gone."

"Have you ever known anyone else that broke his rules?" Peyton asked but the minute the words came out of her mouth she realized what a fool she sounded like. Of course Karla hadn't heard of anyone else. Of course not. Because when it came to Logan, it wasn't just the no-kiss rule that had been broken but his policy on getting intimate with a student. Just because she was in grad school and old enough did not mean she wasn't his student. He was her advisor. Two rules, both broken, in the same day.

Her first day.

Peyton huffed out a sigh.

"Thinking if you kiss him, it'll solve all your problems?" Karla asked with a smirk. "Maybe he'll drop you as his TA and you can be one for someone else, someone safer? Let me tell you, that's not going to happen. I know Logan as well as anyone who's in my position knows him and I think you're exactly what he needs. You're outspoken, you're intelligent, and you're drop-dead gorgeous. Nothing else will matter, I'm sure of it."

"I'm his student," Peyton pointed out, but even to her own ears, her voice came out weak. She gritted her teeth together as Logan's voice flitted through her head: "There's always room for exceptions."

"Maybe you'll get an A out of it," Karla teased and then laughed when Peyton shot her a look. "Relax, I'm just kidding. If anything, Logan will be harder on you. He'll push you because he knows you can handle it."

"How do you think you know so much about me?" Peyton asked, confused.

"You graduated summa cum laude," Karla said. "You got into this program without the extra bullshit a lot of other students need. People know you, Peyton. I'm almost positive Logan did, too. At least, once he saw you, he figured it out." She grabbed her purse from by her feet and wrapped the strap around her shoulder. "And to answer your question no, I've never heard of anyone else breaking his rules besides that girl. No one had the balls to. I sure as hell didn't. I dressed pretty and laughed at his jokes and I'm a pretty good lay. But I know I'm just a number to him and I'm okay with that."

"You want to know what I don't understand?" Peyton asked, furrowing her brow as she stared at the table. She knew Karla was getting ready to leave but she couldn't help but voice her questions. From the corner of her eye, she saw Karla hold up, waiting for Peyton's question. Peyton rubbed her lips together before forcing herself to continue. "Why is he like this? Why is he such a jerk?"

"You mean you don't know?" Karla asked. For the first time in their entire conversation, she leaned forward to ensure no one would hear their conversation. "Look, I only know this because I have friends in the Records Hall and it happened to be in his file but Logan was a product of abuse and rape. His dad was a monster who killed his mother, literally, by driving drunk with her in the passenger seat. He ended up in a comma and ended up dying. He was eleven at the time and fended for himself. I think he went to live with a grandmother but she died before he turned eighteen and he just continued on his own. He's thick-skinned and doesn't give a shit." She paused. "I mean, can you blame him?"

Peyton leaned back in her chair, her shoulders slouched forward. No, she supposed she couldn't blame him, even though she really wanted to. She couldn't even imagine what it was like to have grown up in such a way.

"I think that's why he abhors rape so passionately," Karla continued. She sounded as though she was talking more to herself than to Peyton, which was fine with Peyton because at least she could overhear her insights on this man Peyton had no clue about. A man, she realized, she wanted to know more about. "It's why he doesn't trust anyone. I know he's a monster. He's the biggest dick I know - and also has one - but I try to remember what he went through when he was younger. It doesn't excuse his adult behavior, obviously, but still..." She shook her head. "Is there anything else you wanted to talk about? Any other questions you had?"

"Yeah, actually." Peyton sat up straighter as she slid her eyes over to Karla. "When you were his TA, did he introduce you to his class on the first day? And give you a criteria of what he expected from you?"

"Yeah," Karla said, tilting her head to the side. "If I remember correctly, he did let his students know about me first thing in hopes they would go to my office hours rather than his. And he gave me a pretty simple sheet to read about his assignments and grading practices. Why?" She furrowed her brow. "He didn't do those things for you?"

Peyton grabbed the inside of her cheek with her teeth and shook her head. "No," she murmured. "He didn't. And I don't know whether to take it personally or just let it go. Or if I should just chalk it up to Logan being Logan." Her eyes found Karla and she shook her head. "The guy is absolutely batshit crazy. He swears constantly, he makes people feel like crap for what they wear or how they sound, and he calls me sweetheart like it's some kind of random term of endearment. I don't get him. I don't understand why he is the way he is. I mean, now that you tell me what he went through, maybe, but..." She shook her head and glanced away. "Maybe he's just been so alone that the isolation he dealt with made him into this monster."

"Logan didn't grow up alone," Karla said. "He has a younger brother. Half-brother, I should say. His dad's son from an affair with one of Logan's mother's friends. The guy was an asshole but he was a charming one. Where do you think Logan gets it from?"

"I'm sorry but do you genuinely believe Logan is charming?" Peyton asked with a scrunch of her nose.

Karla opened her mouth to respond when something tickled her memory and she shot Peyton a curious look. "Wait a second," she murmured. "Are you telling me that he calls you sweetheart? That's it? Nothing about how you dress or what you look like or how you sound, maybe?"

Peyton shook her head. "Sweetheart," she replied. "He doesn't even say my name, which kind of pisses me off in its own way, you know? Sweetheart. Not even my boyfriends called me that." She noticed the awed look on Karla's face and felt her own start to get red. "What? What is it?"

Karla pressed her lips together and shook her head. "It's probably nothing," she said. "It's just..." She let her voice trail off as she glanced around, almost as though she were worried someone might overhear. "I've never known Logan to call someone a term of endearment before, and I've known Logan since my freshman year of undergrad. He calls me Coco. He called his red-headed TA Red. He called another one Freckles. Another one Legs. Never sweetheart." Her dark eyes sparkled. "He must like you."

Peyton felt her cheeks burn again at the insinuation that Logan somehow regarded her as different or special. To be honest, after yesterday, her whole entire world had been twisted upside down and she couldn't quite see straight when it came to him. She didn't want to talk about him liking her because then, the conversation might turn into other things and she had been doing such a good job of avoiding even remembering the way his tongue danced in her mouth or the way his hands felt against her skin or how the pressure against her core felt both painful and pleasurable.

She didn't understand this at all and she didn't want to. If anything, she wanted to forget.

"Logan has a brother?" Peyton asked. Her voice shook slightly and even she didn't sound convinced by her attempt at changing the subject. However, it was a curious thing to know.

"Half," Karla reminded her. "Younger by a couple of years. Same dad, different mom. The only reason I know this is because he's listed as Logan's emergency contact and, like I said, my friend checked his records for me. He works for Old Newport Jail and runs their Public Relations department."

"What?" Peyton asked, her eyes wide with excitement. "I love that place. I go there every year the day Herbert was assassinated. They throw this big get-together and the woman are encouraged to dress in red skirts, like the Polish woman who finally gave him up..." Her voice trailed off as she looked at Karla's disinterested face. Her brown eyes were glossed over and her thumb kept playing with the gel on her colorful nails. "Right. So he runs the place, then?"