Page 91 of Torn
I try to reimagine this night if my mom were still here and not trapped in a wakeless sleep. Her hair would be long and loose, and she’d have on a flowy blouse and cutoff jean shorts, one of her favorite casual go-to outfits. She’d sit close to Dad and they’d hold hands and smile while they watched me opening my presents. I’d feel their love radiating from them like I always could, and I’d getthat happy warm fuzzy feeling inside just being part of their little bubble. My mom would jump up in excitement after I opened the watch, and she’d put it on my wrist and kiss my cheeks and go on and on about all the things she had planned for us to do together. Mom was always so excited about me growing up and being her best friend.
“I heard you had lunch with Sailor while you were out in Maine,” Dad suddenly says with a hint of rare displeasure.
“Yeah, he has family nearby. Kind of a small world. We had lunch and then drove around talking. I’m designing a quote tattoo for him.”
He pushes his hair off his face and fixes a thoughtful expression at me. My father has shifted into thinking mode, which may or may not go well for me.
“Are you two dating, then?”
“I saw him once, Dad. Geez.”
“Once is a start.”
I quirk my eyebrows up at him. “We’re not dating. It was purely on a friendship level. He’s really sweet, though, and he was very polite. He didn’t even kiss me or ogle at me or do any sort of thing that would make you want to kick his ass. Okay?”
“Good,” my father says.
“I’m eighteen now, Dad. You can’t get nervous every time a guy pays attention to me.”
“I can’t help it. I like Sailor; he’s a good kid. But I think he’s too old for you. He’s traveled, he’s in a new band, probably has lots of experience…”
My stomach contracts with nerves as my father continues to go on about the perils of dating a young musician, and I can barely pay attention to what he’s saying. Sailor is in his early twenties. A far cry from Toren’s thirty-two years. If my dad thinks Sailor istoo old for me to be dating, he’ll go totally loco if he finds out I have feelings for Tor that go way beyond friendship.
After the texting with Tor a few weeks ago, my dreamer mind had fabricated a scenario where Tor and I are happily dating and my father, all our friends, and our families accepted us as a couple. This conversation is a major bitch-slap back into the reality that the chances of that ever happening are nearly impossible, no matter how much we might be wishing for it.
“Hot damn,” Chloe says. “I’d love to be the cheese in that sandwich.” Rayne and I follow her gaze across my backyard to where Tor is talking with Sailor and Finn. We’re sitting in chairs by the pool, catching up since I just got back from Maine. There’s more people at the bonfire tonight since my father announced it was also to celebrate my birthday, which I really didn’t want, as I don’t like being any sort of nucleus of attention.
“Seriously,” Rayne agrees. “I don’t know who’s hotter. But it’s basically a club sandwich since there are three of them. Let’s do marry/fuck/kiss and figure it out.”
“Ooh I love that!” Chloe squeals. “I’ll go first.” She narrows her eyes at the guys as her brain works them over. “I’d marry Sailor, fuck the hell out of Tor, and kiss Finn. And if Tanner were here, he’d be my alternate fuck. I can’t get enough of him.”
I almost choke on my soda at her words about Tor. He’smine. I fight the urge to jump out of my chair and claw her eyes out.
Rayne sits up straighter as she takes her turn analyzing the trio of men. “I’m going to have to marry Tor, fuck Finn, and kiss Sailor. And since we’re adding alternates, I’d totally marry Tristan. That boy is so sexy and adorable. I could just eat him up.” They turn to me. “Okay, Kenz. Your turn.”
Of course now that it’s my turn, Tor is walking toward us with his sexy swagger, drink in hand, his muscular chest stretching his thin white T-shirt.
“Why do you ladies look like you’re up to no good?” he asks with a grin when he reaches us.
Chloe bats her eyelashes at him. “We’re doing marry/fuck/kiss with you, Sailor, and Finn with your brothers as alternates.”
Tor lets out a chuckle. “Is that right?”
“Yeah, but Kenzi hasn’t picked yet,” Chloe adds. “You should know, I didn’t pick you to kiss or marry, Tor. So you do the math. But Rayne picked you to marry.”
Tor does a mock bow to Rayne. “Thank you, Rayne, for not treating me like a piece of meat. And, Chloe, I don’t think you could handle this.” He winks at her and takes a sip of his soda.
“I’m up for the challenge,” Chloe teases back, and I can feel myself burning up with jealousy over her blatant flirting. I don’t want her or anyone else handling him.
“Well?” Chloe urges, poking my arm. “You didn’t pick, Kenzi. You’re the birthday girl, so you can have two alternates.”
“I think I’ll pass,” I answer, glancing up at Tor. “I’m going to go get something to eat.”
Rising, I walk across the yard to the deck to make myself a salad. I know Chloe is just playing around but it really struck a little green nerve in me. The mere thought of Toren having sex with another woman or marrying someone makes my heart hurt.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, so I pull it out while I’m standing next to the table of assorted salads.
Tor