Page 9 of Torn
I wipe my mouth. “She’s not.”
“How old were you?”
“When?”
“Your first time.”
“That’s different, I’m a guy.”
“Well, how old was she, then? The girl you did it with?”
Fuck.
“Kenz, you should only be doing that when the time is right. With the right guy.”
“I know… but what if the right guy never comes?”
“He will.”As I sit here still single at thirty-two.“You’re young, just enjoy your life and don’t worry about sleeping with guys. Your father will have a shit fit if he hears you talking like this. You want to give him a heart attack?”
She rolls her eyes. “He still thinks I’m five.”
“So do I.”
She kicks me under the table. “No, you don’t. You’re not nearly as bad as him. And my mom had to be about fourteen, obviously, when she started having sex.”
“I think you should talk to your grandmother about this. Or your aunt? Maybe Rayne? Someone of the female persuasion?”
Her nose crinkles. “Nah. I’d be too uncomfortable talking to them.”
“But not with me?”
She shakes her head. “I like talking to you. You listen to me and you don’t judge me.”
“I’m flattered. But I’m the last fucking person to be giving relationship or sex advice.”
I lean back in the chair and push my empty plate away. I can’t think about Kenzi having sex. My brain is way too mangled up with visions of her as a little girl and the glimpse of her half-naked ass I saw a few minutes ago. She’s growing up too fast. It seems like just yesterday I was babysitting her. Now she’s asking me questions about sex and looking less like a little girl and more like a woman. It’s confusing as hell, and I have no idea how Asher is dealing with this shit.
“Most of the girls I know have had sex already, way before they were seventeen. With a few guys, even. Not at the same time… at least I don’t think so. You know what I’m saying, right?” She pauses and I nod, dumbfounded and at a loss for words. “I don’t feel that way about any of the guys I’ve dated, though. I don’t even like kissing them.” She plays with her napkin and doesn’t look up at me. “Do you think maybe there’s something wrong with me? Why don’t I feel anything yet?”
I suppress the laugh and relief I feel. “No, Angel. I think you’re fine.”
“Really?”
“Really. You’ll feel it when you’re ready and when it’s the right guy. You can’t force it. It should mean something. Especially your first time. Don’t do it just because fuckin’ Chloe says to. Just be you, like you’ve always been. Don’t cave to pressure now. That’s never been you.”
She nods slowly. “I just hate always being the weird one that isn’t doing what everyone else is doing. I want to fit in for once.”
“Trust me, you’re not the weird one. You’re unique. You’ve always had your own mind and your own plan. I’d hate to see you change and end up like everyone else out there. That would be a shame.”
She fidgets with her fork, pushing a small piece of ham around on her plate. “I’m on the pill,” she says softly, still looking at her plate.
I blink at her. “Come again?”
“The pill. Birth control.”
“I know what it is, Kenzi. Why?”
“I was having a lot of cramps every month, so Rayne took me to her doctor for a checkup. The doctor said it would help, and it has. I didn’t tell my dad, though, and I’m afraid he’s going to find them and go ballistic.”