Page 160 of Torn
He saunters closer to me and leans against my workbench. “Something I’ve spent a lot of time lookin’ at, bro. At first, it pissed me right the fuck off. Then I kept looking, and I couldn’t deny what was right in front of me.”
My eyes narrow. “And that is?”
He pushes his long wavy hair back off his face. “Take a look. Tell me what you see.”
I have no idea what trip Asher is trying to take me on, but I lay the book on my legs and start to flip through the pages of photos, which start when Kenzi was born. At first, it’s bittersweet to see the photos of Ember holding Kenzi, so beautiful, carefree, and happy, and I’m sure it was really hard for Asher to look at this and see all these pictures of Ember. There’s photos of Kenzi’s birthdays, Christmas, first day of school, playing, her first tooth, the bunny, their wedding, and family parties. My throat tightens seeing all the pictures because I miss Kenzi so damn much.
I continue to flip the pages, and I have to chuckle at how young we all look. But then I see what Asher saw, and it hits me like a brick wall. I’m in almost every single photo with Kenzi. I’m either holding her or sitting on the floor playing with her. In many she’s asleep on my chest with her arms around my neck. In others, I’m holding her hand or she’s leaning against me. There’s a picture of us lying on the floor with Snuggles. There’s me teaching her to tie her shoe. There’s me pushing her on a swing. There’s her handing me presents on Christmas. There’s her sitting on my lap while Iplay guitar. There’s one where she’s crying and I’m kneeling in front of her, talking to her, wiping her cheek with my thumb.
We werealwaystogether. Almost always touching in some little innocent, but caring, way. Constantly drawn to each other without even realizing it. Even though I always felt it, actually seeing it captured in photos is something entirely different.
It’s undeniable.
I close the book and hand it back to him, unsure of what to say. I swallow over the tightness in my throat. “None of that was intentional, Ash.”
“You don’t think I can see that? I hate it, but it’s clear as day when I look at these pictures. You were right. You two had some kind of special bond right from the start, and as much as I want to throat punch you, I can’t deny that whatever it is, it’s real and I have no right to fuck with it. It’s taken me months to get my head around it and try to accept it.”
“What are you saying?” Hope starts to grow in my chest as I listen to him. Is he actually forgiving me?
“I’m saying I get it. I don’t like it. It freaks me out something fierce. But I get it.” He picks up a screwdriver off my bench and twirls it around in his hand. I hope he doesn’t stab me with it. “I want my daughter back in my life, Tor, and I want my best friend back. That’s still you, in case you’re wondering. And the only way that’s going to happen is if I get over this, and hard as that’s going to be, we need to bury this fight. She won’t come back if we hate each other.”
I’m almost thrown speechless by his unexpected admission. “Are you saying you’re okay with us being together?”
He crosses his arms and looks up at the ceiling, then back down at me. “I don’t think I’m ever going to be exactly okay with it, but I’m willing to deal with it if it’ll bring her back and fix this mess.”
I stand and wipe my hands on my jeans, in a state of shock. “I’m not sure what to say. I want my best friend back, too. And I want the love of my life back. Living like this is torture.”
Even though I know in my heart that Kenzi and I are still very much together, I want her physically in my life where she belongs. I’ve had enough space and I’m sure she has, too.
Sadness crosses his face and I regret how my words just accidentally came out.
“Yeah, I know what that feels like, man.” He blows out a deep breath. “I’m calling Kenzi tonight to let her know we’re good now, and it’s time for her to come home. I’ll stand by whatever decision she makes.” He tilts his head. “Are we good?”
I nod. “We’re always good, Ash.”
One Month Later
I’m walking down the sidewalk toward Lukas’s tattoo parlor, texting Tanner about a few new missing dogs that we’re going to set some traps for and,bam, I crash right into someone, knocking her phone, keys, and purse out of her hands and onto the sidewalk.
“Shit,” I mutter. “I’m sorry. Totally my bad, I wasn’t paying attention,” I say, kneeling down to help her pick up all the stuff she just dropped.
“Neither was I.”
Hearing her voice again slices through me like a hot knife through butter, but that’s nothing compared to the feeling that flashes through me when we both look up at the same time and our eyes meet. It’s like getting struck by lightning.
“Kenzi…” I swallow hard, feeling lightheaded. She looks the same but so different. Older. More mature. Her hair has a darkerbrown shade mixed in with her blond, and it really brings out her eyes, which I’m trying hard not to stare into like a lovesick puppy.
Those eyes. Holy shit, I miss those eyes.
“Tor…” She takes a deep breath as she stares at me, her eyes growing wide as if she’s trying to take in the sight of every inch of me all at once.
I stand and offer her my hand to help her up. “I had no idea you were in town already,” I say. I can’t take my eyes off her. She looks amazing in a tight black V-neck sweater, jeans that fit like a second skin, and those damn little black motorcycle boots. The memory of the time I made love to her with nothing else on but those boots surfaces, and I quickly try to put those images out of my head.Some things never change.
She falters, losing herself under my intense gaze. “I moved back here about a month ago. I’m living with Rayne. That’s why I’m here.” She gestures over toward Lukas’s shop. “She works here and I had to drop something off for her.”
“I was just heading there for my tattoo appointment.” A month. She’s been here for a month and I didn’t even know. Why didn’t she tell me? Why didn’t Asher tell me? Is life going to fuck me over and take her away from me when we finally have things fixed?
The corners of her mouth tilt up and her smile lights up her face. “You’re still getting ink? I’m surprised you have any open skin left.”