Page 146 of Torn
I stare at him, frozen, unable to think fast enough. I’m not a liar. I don’t know how to do this. I don’twantto do this. My lips quiver and tears brim in my eyes as I watch the truth settle in his, making him take a deep breath. His hand goes to the center of his chest, as if he’s in immense pain, and his eyes shut for a long moment before opening again, revealing tears.
“Dad…,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.”
He doesn’t move. He just stands there, taking deep breaths, clutching at his chest. Fear grips me like a vise at the thought of him having a heart attack from the shock and stress of what he’s just pieced together.
I gently touch his arm. “Dad… are you okay?” I ask softly.
“No. I’m not okay,” he replies, rubbing his chest. “Did hetouchyou?”
I shake my head. “It’s not like that.”
“What does that mean?”
I don’t know what to say, or how to say it. How do I explainto my dad what Tor and I have? I was never supposed to go through this alone. Tor and I were going to tell him together and try to explain what happened in a way that he would understand.
I just have no idea how we thought we were going to do that.
“Kenzi?” he urges. “Answer me. What the hell does that mean?”
“We love each other.” My voice shakes with a myriad of emotions. It seemed like the best, most honest answer. I thought it would cover everything that needed to be said.
“What?”The word rips out of him in a tormented roar that shakes the walls.
Wincing, I say, “Daddy… let me call Tor and have him come over so we can all talk together.” Hopefully my dad will agree, and Tor will be able to calm him down, and then everything will be okay. Maybe even better than okay.
“I’ll kill that motherfucker,” my father seethes. “This is why you were so upset about Sydni at the hospital. Isn’t it?”
I cringe away from him, wishing I hadn’t had such a meltdown that day in the hospital. This is all my fault. I should have been more careful.
“Isn’t it?” he bellows.
“Yes,” I answer. “Please stop yelling.Please.”
A crazy grin crosses his lips, so foreign compared to his normal handsome, charming smile. “Stop yelling? You want me to stop yelling?” he asks, his voice only rising with each word.
“Yes. Please let me explain.”
He steps closer to me. “Did he touch you?” The words come out of him like he’s choking on them.
“Please don’t do this, Dad. Please calm down and just let me try to explain.”
“Did he touch you?”he demands again, so loud it makes me want to cover my ears.
“Yes!” I cry. “It’s not like you’re thinking! He loves me. I don’t know how it happened, but it did. We fell in love. It’s not bad, Dad. Please listen,” I beg as he starts to rove around my bedroom, like he expects some clues are going to pop up from the corners. “He makes me happy. He’s never hurt me or pushed me, ever.”
“Did he fuck you?”
“Daddy!” Tears burst from my eyes at the vileness in his tone. He’s never spoken to me this way. “Stop it.”
“Did he?”
I shake my head and wipe at my eyes. “You’re being horrible! Stop asking me things and let me explain,please. We love each other. We care about each other. He’s my best friend. You know that. He would never, ever hurt me.”
“You’re too young to know what love is, Kenzi. He took advantage of you because I fucked up and left you alone too much thinking I could trust him, and now I’m going to rip his fuckin’ heart out and shove it down his throat.”
Never have I heard my father speak so venomously or with such hatred. He’s a peacemaker. A lover. Always helping people work out their problems. Always caring and understanding.
Never like this.