Page 79 of Dominion
“I can’t,” she said. She remembered he’d told her once that the smell of her tears would bring him to his knees. She thought she saw pain in his eyes, but in the darkness, it was hard to tell. “Can we talk?” she croaked.
He sighed. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“Will you come to bed?”
“No,” he said heavily. “I don’t think so.”
“Then I’m staying here,” she said, brushing the tears with the back of her hand.
“No,” he said, his voice hardening. “Go back to bed. Now.”
She shook her head.
He made a sound of irritation and reached for her, freezing when she flinched. “You’re afraid of me,” he said hollowly.
She opened her mouth, then closed it, unsure how to answer. Had she flinched because she was scared? No, not really. Rationally, she wasn’t afraid of Ben, but his dominance did have an effect on her, making her instincts for self-preservation kick in, just as seeing him in wolf form always made her gulp.
“That’s why you felt you had to lie to me.”
She shook her head. “I just… I didn’t want to disappoint you at first. And then, once the lie was out, I was afraid to confess the truth because I knew you’d be mad—rightfully so.”
“Did you think I’d force you into parenting? That you don’t have a say in the matter?”
“No… no. But you seemed so excited. And I?—”
He waited when she trailed off.
“My career is just getting started. I love working for you and I’m just not willing to give that up yet.”
“This is the discussion we should have had five months ago.”
She dropped her head and stared at the outline of her hands in the dark. “I know.”
“I wouldn’t have pushed you,” he said, a bitter edge to his voice. “I thought you wanted this.”
“I do,” she protested. “Just maybe not right this second. We’re not even married yet.” She knew the institution of marriage didn’t matter to shifters the way it did to humans, but they had agreed to have a long engagement to give her and her family time to adjust to the suddenness of their relationship. In Ben’s world, he’d marked her and she belonged to him, period. She had accepted that, but still wanted time to get used to the idea.
“I’ll stop taking the pill. I was going to throw them out today, when you caught me.”
He made an impatient gesture. “You don’t have to. I don’t care about that. You think pups are more important to me than your happiness?”
Shame made her face grow hot and her eyes wet again. “I’m sorry.”
He said nothing.
“Are you going to punish me?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Go to bed, Ashley,” he said, sounding tired.
“Not without you.”
He reached for her again and this time she held still, not surprised to find his touch gentle, despite the stony lines of his face. He scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom, where he tried to deposit her on the bed. She clung to his neck, though, refusing to let go.
He growled and she nearly let go, but rallied her courage to prove she wasn’t afraid of him. He dropped to the bed with her and held her down, delivering several sharp smacks to her pajama-clad backside.