Page 4 of Filthy

Nix got out of the car and came around to open my door. I had boots on but the ground was slippery from ice and snow and he reached for me the second I stepped foot on the ground. Just like old times, we made our way into the bar with his arm around my waist and my hands clinging to him as if it were a common occurrence even after all these years.

“Well, look who the cat dragged in! You two are the last people I would have thought would show up here on Christmas Eve.” Mariah Ansley, resident bartender and former high school cheerleader shouted out the second our eyes adjusted to the dark lit room. The old pool table that I had lost my virginity on still sat in one corner and the smell of old liquor nearly knocked me out, but it was the best our town had and for some reason, Nix felt this was where we needed to be.

“Hey Mariah, good to see you.” he said as she came around the bar and pulled him into a hug. When she stepped back, she just gave me a nod and turned her attention back to Nix. I went to step out of his grasp, but his hand tightened around mine. The jealousy that I was accustomed to with him around sparked and I just shook my head. I was the awkward, chubby teenager that Mariah and her crew tortured all over again. It only took a matter of seconds for it all to come flooding back, and I wanted to scream. That wasn’t who I was anymore. Mentally, I knew that, but it was still so hard. Nix looked over at me as Mariah was going on about something that he didn’t seem interested in at all and I stood a little taller. He always hated when I made myself smaller in an attempt to disappear.

“Mariah, I hate to cut you off, but we are going to grab that booth over there. Can you bring Hattie a vodka water and a beer for me? Actually, make that two.”

“Uh, yeah sure. Coming right up.”

She turned on her heel, giving me a death stare in the process, and Nix pulled me into the circular booth in the corner. We spent way too many nights here in our younger years, and it felt like we were on a walk down memory lane.

“So how’s your mom?” he said as soon as Mariah put our drinks down in front of us.

“Okay, I guess. I know it’s better for her to be there, but this is the first Christmas since we sold the house. The last few years, it’s only been the two of us, but I think she still wishes she were home for Christmas. I promised her I’d go back tomorrow and spend time with her.”

“Can she leave?”

“Like for good?”

“No, like for a visit. Can we bring her to my house so she can spend the day with all of us?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I mean, I can take her out for a visit, of course, but I don’t want to interfere anymore than I already am on your family’s holiday.”

“Don’t be like that Hattie, I wouldn’t have asked if I thought it was a problem. My mom would love to have her with us, you know that.”

“But you all have your own holiday traditions and we would just be in the way. I’m fine coming back up here and spending the day with her. It would be for the best, anyway.”

“How long are you here for?”

“Just until Monday, I have to get back to work.”

“Are you still at the diner?”

“Yeah, it’s okay. The tips are good.”

Nix raised a hand in Mariah’s direction and I realized I had already finished my drink. His two beers were empty, and the liquid was going down way too quick. I had a two drink minimum before I got handsy and he knew it.

“What?” he asked, looking over at me.

“What are we doing here, Nix?”

“I told you, I needed a drink.”

“There are drinks at your parents.”

“What’s your point?”

The look he was giving me made me want to crawl into his lap and beg for forgiveness, and I hadn’t even done anything wrong. Why did he always have to look so fucking good? His long hair was tied back, leaving his sharp features on display. He had grown a short beard, but it worked for him and the tattoos on his hands brought memories of his roughened skin running over my body in the best way possible. Life wasn’t fair. Men shouldn’t be this good looking. Especially men I used to date.

Chapter Three

Nix

This was a mistake. We shouldn’t be here. Too many memories swarmed around us and after Hattie’s fourth drink and more beers than I could count, my hands kept finding their way between her legs under the table.

“Nix stop.” She said in a hushed laugh before I leaned forward and bit her neck.

“Oh, come on, Hattie. Tell me you can sit here and look at that pool table without one ounce of desire.”