Page 9 of Falcon

“Listen to me, Gina. Really listen.” When I gave him a shaky nod, he continued. “I’m. Comin’. Back. For.You.” He said each word slowly and distinctly. “I can’t trust anyone but Rattler to get Joilyn out of whatever hellhole she’s in. But once she’s safe, I’m comin’ home.To you. Do you understand me?”

“I -- I don’t -- I don’t know.” I sobbed out the response, the dam holding back my emotions beginning to fail.

“I know I haven’t exactly earned your trust yet, but I’m asking for it. Just this once. Give me the chance to prove myself to you.”

I slowly lowered my forehead to his and sighed. The tears came faster -- it was becoming impossible to hold them back. I wanted this with everything in my being. I wanted Falcon. But I was desperately afraid my reality didn’t account for a man like Falcon. He deserved a whole woman. I was fragmented into so many pieces, there was no way to put me back together without some lingering cracks.

“God, Falcon.” I took in another shuddering breath. “Please, I’m begging you, don’t break my heart any more than it’s already breaking.”

He wrapped his arms around me then, squeezing me to him tightly. “Never, baby. I’m not ever gonna try to sell you somethin’ I don’t fully mean. I will come back. I will come to you. I’ll make sure you are given updates as often as possible and I will call you the first chance I’m able when we’re out safely.”

“You promise this isn’t a line of bullshit? Because I’m not sure I could handle it if you’re not sincere.”

“I’m completely sincere.” He rubbed my back up and down in a soothing caress. “Like I said. I will never lie to you. I’m done denying I want you for my own, Gina. Because, the more I get to know you, the more I love just being with you. So, I’m gonna do what I have to because, no matter what led her to this point in her life, Joilyn is still my best friend’s sister. She made her choice. Now, I’ve made mine.”

Falcon turned my face up to his and took my lips in a tender, soul-destroying kiss. His lips were a silky glide over mine, his tongue lapping softly. He coaxed me to open for him and, when I did, he slid inside my mouth briefly. He teased me, but I didn’t feel overwhelmed or pressured. It felt like a promise. A promise of what he could do to me if I let him. Of how good he could make sex between us. I already knew the latter. I knew part of the former, but I had the feeling we’d only scratched the surface of what he could make my body give him. I might not have been willing in the strictest sense of the word, but I couldn’t deny Falcon had pleasured me as much as I had him. Nothing he’d done to me had felt like an assault then, and I didn’t think about our encounters as anything other than pleasurable now. If my feelings weren’t normal, I guess I just wasn’t normal.

Falcon pulled back to look into my eyes. I felt like I was drowning. In him. “Falcon…”

“I’m right here, baby. Not goin’ anywhere right now. I’m stayin’ with you as long as I can before we pull out.”

“I need…” I swallowed. “I need to tell you something.”

His eyes narrowed. “You can tell me anything.”

“You never… hurt me. Not once. I was ashamed to admit it at the time, but I liked what we did together.”

Instantly, Falcon stiffened. I knew this was a bad idea, but I needed him to know this. “I’m so fuckin’ sorry, Gina. If I’d thought for one second that fuckin’ bastard Hammer was lyin’ to us when he said you were OK with him sharin’ you, I’d never have… I’d never…”

“I know. You’re a good man, Falcon. I see it every single day.”

“I’d have gotten you away from Hammer, Gina.” There was so much emotion in his voice. He swallowed several times as if he were choking on all those feelings bottled up inside him. “I’d have protected you.”

I smiled at him. “I believe that more than anything. You’re a protector. I don’t blame you for what happened. I couldn’t when I got as much enjoyment as I did. Not only that, but you were always kind.” I smiled, ducking my head again as I picked at the collar of his T-shirt. “I thought of you as the gentleman biker. You looked so rough around the edges and all dangerous with your tattoos and scars, but you were unfailingly kind to me. And you always, always asked me if I was still good with the situation. You didn’t press, but you asked. To me, that meant more than anything. The way I see it, it was my fault for lying to you.”

“No. None of that was your fault. None of it.”

“No. I know it wasn’t. But it wasn’t yours either.”

He smiled. “You’re a remarkable woman, Gina. I’ll be proud to have you on the back of my bike.”

For some reason, I felt a smile tug at my lips. Maybe I was deluding myself. Maybe he’d change his mind when he got Joilyn back -- and I knew he’d get her back. Falcon didn’t have “quit” in him when it came to something like this. So, maybe he would decide to go back to her. Until he did, though, I was going to pretend he meant what he’d just said. I’d worry about the aftermath later. For now, I was going to enjoy being with the only man I’d ever be able to love in any kind of meaningful way. I was going to take whatever he chose to give me and live in the moment. Tomorrow would work itself out. I’d deal with whatever happened when it happened because I refused to waste energy on borrowed trouble. Life was too fucking short.

Chapter Five

Falcon

I felt like the next two days were leading up to my execution. I knew whatever happened in the following days would change my life forever but I wasn’t sure which way it was going to go. So I refused to think about it. Instead, I spent every waking moment either pestering Scout, the ExFil team leader who’d contacted me and Rattler, or with Gina.

Right now, Gina and I were in her backyard. We lay on fucking pool lounge chairs. The sun filtered through the trees providing the perfect amount of light and warmth. I’d grilled hotdogs because I couldn’t cook anything but omelets for shit, and opened a can of pork and beans for lunch. It was the first time we’d done anything like this, and I was already mentally kicking my own ass for not coaxing her out sooner.

Gina had a genuine smile on her face as she ate nearly burnt hotdogs and sopped up the bean juice with her hotdog bun. She chatted lightly about any topic I distracted her with. I did not mention my imminent departure. Or Joilyn.

“If I’d known you were this great at grilling hotdogs, I’d have invited you over for this sooner.” She gave me a bright smile. It struck me that this was the happiest I’d seen her since I’d met her. Even before we all found out the hell Hammer had put her through, her act had fooled us all. Including me. I also hadn’t realized how different her fake smiles were from her genuine ones.

Daylight and dark.

I snorted into my beer bottle. “They’re burnt, baby.”