Page 61 of Lost Prince

Part of me wants to follow Elio's example, to throw caution to the wind and choose love. But another part, the part that's stilltrying to figure out who I am, hesitates. What if I'm not enough to make her stay? What if the excitement of our relationship fades, and she realizes she wants more than I can offer? What happens when the wanderlust hits her again and she sets out on her next adventure, leaving me behind?

The uncertainty gnaws at me. I've already lost so much—my memories, my sense of self. The thought of losing Diana too… it's almost too much to bear. But I don’t own her.

Do I fight for what I want, knowing it might all be temporary? Or do I resign myself to duty, to the life that's been laid out for me?

23

DIANA

Imake breakfast in the kitchen, unable to stop the replay of last night in my head. Overhearing the conversation about Lazaro's potential marriage to Ava Rinella. I should have packed and left, but I stayed and gave in to my feeling for Lazaro, even knowing there was no future with him.

For a moment, I close my eyes, savoring the memory of his arms around me. They way he touched me like I was the center of the world for him. For a minute, I thought maybe he loved me. It was wishful thinking, I'm sure.

This morning, reality sets in. I’m on borrowed time. Any moment, Lana is going to sweep in and fire me. There’s no way Lazaro’s lover can be around when he’s engaged to someone else. Or maybe I can. Aren’t these Mafia families run by macho men who do what they want, including cheat on their spouses?

But I don’t see that in Lazaro. He’s got issues, but he’s clearly loyal. Elio too. I can’t imagine him ever looking at another woman sexually. He’s so very much in love with Piper and devoted to his family. Even Lana, who seems so cool and distant, is soft and warm around Henry.

But even if given the option to remain Lazaro’s lover, I don’t want that. It’s not just unfair to Ava, but I want a man who wants me fully, wholly. I don’t want to share.

A small smile comes to my face as I remember Lazaro once saying that to me. It was the first time we had sex after he hunted me down at my apartment, angry that I’d driven off without a goodbye.

So far, I haven’t been fired, and I’m not one to skip work. I've always prided myself on my strong work ethic, whether that was as a short order cook, assistant to a caterer, bartending, or a barista. I don’t let my personal drama interfere with my job responsibilities. Besides, I need this job. Sure, I’ve saved a little bit by letting my apartment go, but my nest egg is still tiny.

I think I hear the kitchen door open, but I don’t look. I keep at the stove, preparing omelets for breakfast. Cooking normally calms me, but I’m tense, partly waiting for Lana to fire me and partly expecting Lazaro to come to the kitchen and not knowing how to respond.

Anna bustles past, giving me a curious look. I force a smile.

I hear voices. Matteo? Lazaro?

I tense, waiting for Lazaro to enter. Time ticks by, but he doesn’t come. I should be relieved, but I’m not. I wonder what’s going on? Was last night a last moment together before he fulfills his duty? Or does he still want me? Would he fight for me? Could he fight for me?

I shake my head of the tormenting thoughts, throwing myself into my work, wishing for a distraction. But every time the inner door creaks, I jump, half-expecting to see Lana storming in to confront me.

"Diana, are you okay?" Anna asks gently. "You seem on edge today."

I manage a weak smile. "Just a bit tired, that's all."

As I continue prepping ingredients, I’m acutely aware that everything's about to change. I don’t like that I’ve surrendered my future to this family. In the past, I’d tell my boss thank you for the opportunity, tender my resignation, and I’d head off on my next adventure. But I don’t want to leave. For the first time in my life, I feel like this could be my home. Crazy, right?

Once Janey serves breakfast, I bustle about the kitchen cleaning up breakfast to get ready for lunch and dinner.

“Diana, can you take this back to the buffet?” Anna hands me a large silver bowl used with dinner last night. The buffet is in the dining room, a place I’d rather avoid while the family… more specifically, Lana, is there.

“The family is finished,” she says as if she knows my concern.

I take the bowl and tentatively make my way to the dining room. As I open the buffet to store the bowl, my ears perk up as I recognize Lana and Elio talking in hushed tones. My first instinct is to run back to the kitchen. But then I hear Lana.

"I'm worried about pushing this marriage on Lazaro. He's still not emotionally ready."

I’ve grown to resent Lana, but my heart softens at hearing her defend Lazaro. That she recognizes he’s still vulnerable.

"It's possible he won't get them back. In fact, we should assume he won't. But he's family and in the business. Besides, Ava is a beautiful woman, a virgin. I can't imagine that won't appeal to Lazaro."

“Does your wife know you’re such a misogynistic pig?” Lana quips.

I’m starting to like her more.

“You remember how he used to be. I can’t imagine there’s a woman of age in this town he hasn’t fucked.”