Page 70 of Play With Me
“Holy fuck, baby. You keep moving like that, and you’re gonna make me come.”
“Oh, but I thought you were going to fuck me all night?” I tease.
That familiar tingling sensation crawls up my spine again, climbing higher and higher until I see stars. As it spreads throughout my body, Anders and I lock eyes. Our shared connection makes it more emotional as we come together, both of us crying out for each other. Everything I’ve been feeling culminates as wave after wave of pleasure crashes through me.
All the good and all the bad explodes inside my chest like a bomb, and it isn’t until Anders reaches up a hand and wipes a tear off my cheek that I realize I’m crying.
Anders
“Baby, why are you crying?” My heart pounds against my chest, not just from the amazing sex but from worry that I did something to hurt her.
Carmela shakes her head as the tears start to fall faster. “I don’t know.”
Gently, I lift her off me and guide her to lie back against the pillows. “I guess it’s just all finally hitting me, you know? There’s someone out there who wants me dead, and I’m here enjoying a vacation,” she sobs as I cover her with the blanket. “What happens when we have to go back? How do I keep Maya safe? What happens if you can’t find him?”
“Shh,” I soothe, crawling beneath the covers and gathering her in my arms. “It’s going to be okay.”
“You can’t promise me that, Anders.” Her body begins to shake as she falls apart.
I hate seeing her cry. I hate that Ican’tpromise her it will all be okay.
And I hate that I can’t tell her how I really feel.
My lungs constrict to the point where I have to fight to take a tight breath. Carmela has so much on her plate right now, I’m afraid that if I tell her I love her it will only push her away.
Now isn’t the time. Even though I want to confess my feelings now, more than ever.
Fuck.
Carmela
As soon as we step off the plane back home, I miss the warmth of California. I never thought there’d be a day when I preferred the West Coast to the East. Since my meltdown after Anders and I had sex in the hotel room, all I can think about is how much I just wanted to stay.
That, and how much I miss my family.
Which is why we’re currently driving to my parents, stopping at our house to unpack our shorts and T-shirts and repack a bag for Maya—who isn’t exactly happy that she’s going to stay with grandparents she’s never met and who haven’t bothered to be a part of our family for fourteen years.
Anders and I—and Mick, although reluctantly—are all in agreement, however, that it’s the safest option for Maya right now. And I know if I explainwhat’s happening, my parents will take her in a heartbeat.
Maya pouts in the backseat of my Mirai Limited, headphones on, ignoring me as I try to make eye contact through the rearview mirror. It’s Anders’ turn to sit in the passenger seat while I drive.
“How long has it been since you’ve spoken to them?” he asks quietly, just in case the headphones are for show and Maya is pretending she’s not listening to our conversation.
“It’s been years. They pretty much disowned me when I made the choice to move in with Mick.” I recheck the mirror to see Maya mouthing words to a random song, head bobbing as she scrolls through something on her phone. “When he got married, it was well-known news. But they never reached out to see how I was doing or what happened to me.”
“That must have been hard. Being alone when you needed her the most.” Anders smooths his thumb over my knuckles as our hands rest on the center console.
Not once has he brought up my breakdown. There hasn’t been another time when I thought he would tell me those three little words, either. I hate how complicated everything has become. But Anders is taking it all in stride.
“I had Denise, so I wasn’t completely alone,” I explain. “She was the closest thing I had to a mother figure when Mami stopped talking to me.”
“Whatever happened to Denise?”
Fondly, I think of the woman who took me under her wing. “She died. Shortly after, I found out she left the club to me, but it wasn’t hers to give. She’d accumulated so much debt that the bank was going to seize and liquidate it all. Mick stepped in and partnered with Vinny to buy it, and we turned it into Désirer.”
Anders taps his knee with his pointer finger, something he does when he’s deep in thought. “So Morroni was part of it from the beginning? And Mick just bullied him out of it? How did those two even connect?”
“I don’t…I don’t know, actually.” I realize that Mick has never told me just how he got tangled up with Vinny in the first place.