Page 42 of Play With Me
She jumps at the sound of my voice, throwing the pot in my direction. It narrowly misses my head as I watch it fly by in surprise. When I face her again, holding my hands up to show her I mean no harm, she’s pointing a Glock 42 at me.
Where the fuck did that come from?
“Anders?” she cries out in disbelief.
“Mom!” A girl bounces around the corner behind her, eyes widening at the sight of me. She’s a carbon copy of Carmela, only with piercing light green eyes. “Why do you have a gun?” she cries out, head ping-ponging between us, trying to assess whether I’m a threat or not.
Carmela stares at me guiltily as she lowers her arms. A tight ball of dread goes off in my chest like a bomb. “Mom?”
Carmela
FOURTEEN YEARS AGO
The house in Jersey is quiet when I return. I curl up in bed and spend the entire night crying into my silk pillowcase, wishing that Mick would come through the door and just hold me and tell me that he isn’t going to marry her.
He never does.
Weeks go by, and I don’t hear from him. I’m too ashamed to tell Mami and Papi. Lisa doesn’t answer my calls. I don’t blame her—I was a shitty friend.
No one ever comes to ask me to leave the house, so I don’t. I find work at a little restaurant within walking distance so I can buy groceries. The bills for the house keep coming in the mail, but when I inquire about a payment plan, it’s already been taken care of.
As time passes, I grow increasingly more uncomfortable. At first, I think it’s from my many nights in front of the TV with a sappy movie and a tub of Ben and Jerry’s.But then little things begin to trigger my brain, like the fact that I used to love eating oranges, and now they make me want to vomit. I’m tired all the time. My pants are getting tighter.
I’m as secretive as can be when I buy the pregnancy test. Terror grips me while I wait for it to either condemn me or release me from Mick’s hold forever. I pray to God that if it comes back negative, I’ll go home to Mami and Papi and beg for forgiveness. I’ll volunteer all my free time to the church and never step out of line again.
Either he doesn’t hear my prayers, or I’m too far gone for him to save. Three minutes later, when I rise from the edge of the tub to pick up the stick, there’s a clear image of two solid pink lines.
The gentlemen’s club looks just like an ordinary building, but I know what goes on beyond the beige brick walls. It’s raining, and the last thing I want to do is catch a cold, but I can’t bring myself to go inside. I tell myself I don’t want to inhale the cigar smoke—after all, it’s not good for the baby currently growing inside my stomach—but I know it’s because I don’t know how I’m going to break the news to Mick.
It’s been over two months since we’ve spoken. News about his upcoming nuptials has circulated through every New York paper and gossip column. And not once has hecalled to check on me. As I enter my second trimester, though, I feel like he should know that I’m pregnant with his child.
Suddenly, the rain overhead stops pouring down on me, yet it still splashes the sidewalk. Startled, I look up and then to my right to see Denise, the owner, standing next to me, holding an umbrella over us both.
“Want my advice, doll? Don’t tell him. If he finds out, you’ll be chained to him forever, and he won’t leave her for you just because he knocked you up.” She takes a long drag from her cigarette holder, blowing the smoke away from me as she gazes up at the face of her club.
My eyes widen as I stare at her. “How did you know?”
She gives me a knowing look before nodding to where my hands rest protectively over my stomach. “You’ve been coming here every day for the last week, holding your belly like it carries a shit ton of gold. It didn’t take me long to put two and two together. He’s been a miserable prick since you left him. I figured you’re standing your ground, or he’s actually trying to do right by you and let you be. But if he knew you were carrying his kid? He’ll tie you up in legal shit so fast, you’ll wish you’d never gotten involved with him in the first place.”
“I wish that now,” I grumble. I have no grand illusions that Mick will leave his fiancée to be with me and our child. But I can’t just erase the months we had together. I love him. And I know he loves me, too.
She’s silent for a few more puffs from her holder before her croaky voice fills the space between us. “Guys like himare a dime a dozen in this city. I like you, doll. The guys inside like you. And not just because you were on his arm, you always held your own. I’d be willing to revoke his membership if you wanted a job.”
“A job?” I have a job. The last thing I need is for Mick to get kicked out of this place and then find out through his friends that Denise has suited me up in lingerie to walk around and serve drinks. Besides, he’d know right away that’s why she banned him. And he’d find out I’m pregnant for sure. Who wants to see a pregnant lady serving them in lingerie?
As if reading my thoughts, Denise bumps my shoulder with hers. “You’re too valuable to work the floor. And I’m getting old. I need a successor. You can stay hidden in the office at night and learn the ropes during the day.”
“You don’t even know me. Why are you being so nice to me?” I was used to people judging me whenever they saw me with Mick. All they saw when they looked at me was a young woman who bagged the right older guy at the right time.
“Because you remind me of myself when I was your age. And while my life turned out to be a fairytale, yours won’t, doll. Not if you chain yourself to him. Now, come inside before we both catch a cold. I’ve needed a reason to quit smoking for forever, guess this is God’s way of making me stop my bad habits. Can’t be breathing in all that shit with a little one on the way.”
Over the last three months, learning how to run Denise’s gentlemen’s club has been more fun than I thought it would be. True to her word, she banned Mick, giving him the excuse that she didn't want any bad press with his political career on the rise and his wedding around the corner.
He actually agreed with her and didn’t even make a fuss.
Scott Tailor, his best friend, has also been absent lately, which means I haven’t had to worry too much about anyone seeing me. And because of that, Denise thought tonight would be a good night to let me out on the floor to shadow her.
How very wrong she was.