Page 139 of Wicked Little Secret
…but what if he didn’t? What if it’s all a lie?
The counter question sounds as a much stronger, clearer voice that’s closer to my own. I squeeze shut my eyes and bow my head as if it’s too heavy to hold up when it’s the conflicting thoughts doing me in.
What if it really is all a lie?
Winter break in Roseburg with Mom hadn’t exactly been a joyous occasion. It was so bad, I left early. I scraped together some savings and stayed in a local bed and breakfast to bide my time away not only from Theron and Castlebury, but now Mom as well.
I’m not your mother.
Four words that have been so earth shattering, I haven’t finished processing them yet. I could barely speak trying to wrap my head around what she was saying. Her mood shifted from indignant and chiding to resigned and regretful.
Macey’s still answering Professor Adler’s question when the moment plays back to me in the middle of class…
“I guess it’s true what they say. Secrets born in the dark will always die in the light. There’s no escaping it,” Mom sighed.
I said nothing, letting the loud silence speak for me.
“Nys,” Mom said when my silence became unbearable. “Please answer me.”
I sat borderline catatonic in the same chair I’d eaten breakfast in for years as a clueless teen girl. I’d done my homework in this chair. We’d decorated gingerbread cookies at this table. Icriedhere the night of my first date whenTrey Smith stood me up…
Mom slid back into her seat and reached for my hand. “Baby girl?—”
“Don’t call me that,” I snapped, wrenching my hand away. I eyed her like I never had before, like she was one of them. One of the people who had ruined our lives.
Maybe she was.
Everything I ever thought was true seemed not to be…
She sighed. “You’ve got to understand, Nyssa. Decisions had to be made.”
“Decisions?” I choked out. “What was I? Some stray you found and didn’t know if you wanted?”
“I’m your aunt,” she said. “I was Josalyn’s older sister. She was only nineteen when she got pregnant. Far too young to be. It would’ve ruined her life if anyone at Castlebury found out.”
I jolt like I’ve been pricked by a needle.
There’s movement all around me. The other students are gathering their things and making their way over to the door.
Class has ended.
Heather smirks at me. “You’re really out of it today, Nyssie. Should I be concerned?”
It’s a question posed as a joke.
It’s facetious, bordering on ridicule. Heather flips her strawberry blonde locks over her shoulder and slides out of her desk with hardly any concern at all. Collecting my things, I’m aware this is her subtle way of getting back at me.
Yet another moment for the frenemy memory banks.
But I’m much more concerned about the man at the front of the room.
Hugging my books to my chest, I approach his desk craving… something.
Anything.
A crumb, a morsel, a sliver of his attention.
His validation.