Page 84 of My Bully's Crush: Vol1
But he’d put someone else between us this time, and this was our longest break.A break I thought would last the rest of my lifetime.I thought that I’d learned how to live without him, but the truth I now realize is that I was only existing and not really living, something I hate to admit.If he ever learns this, I’ll never get rid of him.A small voice in my head whispered that I didn’t really want to.“Shut up!”
I left the shower, hoping he’d left and dreading it at the same time, and walked into the bedroom to find him lounging on my bed as he lived there.We just stared at each other, not saying anything for the longest time, and I really looked at him for the first time.
He’d grown up, as had I.We were both a long way from the kids we were when we first met, and we both looked at it but in a good way.His face was more man than boy, his body more muscular than I remembered.He had the nerve to pat the bed next to him for me to join him.“You’re still here?”
“I told you I’m not going anywhere.I came here to fix this once and for all, and I’m not leaving until it’s done.”
He ignored my glare which just made me want to brain him with something.And why the hell doesn’t he have on any clothes under that sheet?My eyes dropped to the tent in the sheet before I caught myself, and they flew back to his face, where I found him smirking and went on the defensive.What the hell were we talking about again?Oh yeah!Him being a hardheaded ass.
“Well, that’s not new; you never listen.Fine, suit yourself, stay if you want, but I don’t have to be in the same room as you.”I started to leave the room again.
“I’m willing to listen now, but if I’m not here, and if you’re not here with me, how am I going to listen?”
“I have nothing to say to you, Ryder.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.If you’re not talking to me, how am I going to hear what you have to say?”Has he always been this damn annoying?And since when was he, Mr.Sensible?
Usually, he’d fly off in a huff until he came back hours later, acting as if nothing had happened, and I’d take him back without making an issue out of it because I hate arguing.Now he’s being an adult, which for some reason was pissing me off because where the hell was this rational, mature human being when we were together?
“What game is this now?”I was still itching for a fight but couldn’t quite put together why.He was trying to be reasonable when I felt anything but.I didn’t even have the excuse of being angry any longer since I’d already let him take me to bed.I’d lost the damn battle and the whole war without striking a blow.
“I’m not playing any games, Elena.I’m being one hundred percent honest with you.I can’t live the rest of my life walking on eggshells, and I know it’s gonna take a hell of a long time for me to make this up to you.I just want you to know that I’m willing to do whatever it takes, but I’m not leaving you ever again.”
He sounded and looked so earnest, but do I dare believe him?There’s only one way to find out.The Ryder I know hates not being in control and hates things not going his way.But the girl who would always bend to his will was no longer here, and I won’t ever go back to being that weak just for him to love me.
“Ok, fine.Don’t say anything else.You just listen up.You want us to get back together again, and then we’ll do it my way this time.Whatever I say goes, you have to abide by my rules.The first time that you do anything I do not like, we’re through.”
“I can do that.”
“Really, Ryder?Do you really think that’s the kind of relationship I want to have?What kind of stupidity is that?You just said yes?”
“You just said…”
“Do you really think I meant that?Who the hell wants to live like that?”
“I knew you didn’t mean forever, Elena.I thought this was what you needed to be sure of me.I’m willing to do whatever it takes, so if that means you have your way in everything until you feel comfortable again, then I’m down with it.Whatever it takes.Now, why are you mad again?”
“Aren’t you tired of being a prisoner?Didn’t you learn a damn thing?Do I look like your wife?I don’t want you to be a puppet on a string, and I don’t want to dance to your tune every time you play.”
“Seriously, tell me what you want.Anything you ask, I will do it.”
“The only thing I ask of you is that you find new friends.Oh, and that manager has got to go, and you are going to make a public apology to Sydney.”
“What the hell do I owe her an apology for?”I gave him a look that was hard enough to cut glass.
“Come on, Elena, you know I didn’t write that stuff.I told you that they’ve been using my accounts to do shit, half of which I still don’t know about.”
“I don’t care that you were not the one who wrote it.The whole world thinks you wrote it.That’s all I ask of you.I want nothing for myself.Just apologize to Sydney, OK?You don’t have to apologize to me.I don’t need your apology, but you hurt my friend, and that is a big no-no.”
“You know she hates my guts.I doubt an apology is going to work.”
“She was there for me when you weren’t, and if I get back together with you without making that right, it would be a slap in her face.”It’s going to be hard enough explaining last night to her as it is.
“Ok, if I do that, will you give me another chance?”
“You have to earn that chance.You don’t just get to ask me if I’m gonna give you a chance.You have to earn it.Then I’ll decide if you’ve done what you’re supposed to do to earn it.”
“Sounds fair enough, but what exactly will this entail?”