Page 32 of My Bully's Crush: Vol1
“Seriously?You’re ready?Are you sure?”
“Yes, it’s time.I feel like being busy again.I have a lot of time to make up for.But first, I think I will take the doctor’s advice and go on a nice vacation.I’m thinking the Mediterranean.”I propped my cheek on my hand and looked across the table at her smiling face.
Sometimes it hits me in the gut that I have a friend like her.In this town where everyone and everything is as superficial as a dust cloud, it’s something that not many come across, especially since we’re in the same line of work, give or take.Though I’m nowhere near her caliber, she’s always been there egging me on, pushing me to do great without an ounce of jealousy or pettiness in sight.
“Why are you crying, Elena?”She looked around to make sure that no one else was looking and leaned over the table to get closer.“Don’t let them see you cry.”
“It’s happy tears, I promise.”
“I know that, and you know that.But can you imagine what these jackals would print in their rags tomorrow?”
“Not jackals!”I snorted through my nose.
“Soulless vipers?”From her innocent smile, no one would guess the conversation we were having, but I’m sure, like she said, that there were eyes on us from every corner of this place.I’m like the new hot topic of the week; maybe I should use that.
***
*Janie*
“WHERE IS HE?”I feel like I’m going out of my mind.It’s been more than a week since anyone has seen or heard from Ryder, something that has never happened before.His manager, Scott, his advisor Matt, and not even the paparazzi have any idea where he’d gone.
I spent many sleepless nights thinking that he’d run to her side when she was having another one of her breakdowns, but she’s been back for a few days now, and he still hasn’t come home.Though everyone has been speculating that they were off somewhere together, and all the old theories were rearing their ugly heads again.
I don’t understand why no one in this fucking town respects me or my marriage.They act as though I’m nothing more than a placeholder, like any day now, he’s going to leave me and run back to her, his one true love.
I thought I could handle it, thought that as long as we kept him under my control that I’d win in the end.It no longer mattered what happened behind closed doors.I’ve come to accept the hate in his eyes and the way he ignores me when we’re alone together.As long as she didn’t have him, everything was fine.No one had to know that I didn’t either because I’m the one with his name; it’s me who lives with him, not her.
That was satisfactory while he was here when I knew his every move and had things and people in place to make sure that he never went anywhere near her.But now that no one knows where he is, that sick feeling that lived in my guts until he said I do was back again, and this time it was worst.
This time, the shame of losing him in front of the whole world was something I couldn’t contemplate because it would be too awful.To lose to her is not something I can live with.It’s bad enough that no one can seem to forget that they were each other’s, first love.Or the way her stupid fans still push for them to be reunited.
It’s been five long years with no letup from those freaks who just need to get a life.It was too much to take on; the not knowing was slowly killing me.I think I’ve done more coke in the past week than in the whole of last month, and that’s saying a lot because it had been a rough month.
The worst part is having to pretend that I’m not worried or that I have any idea where he is when I’m out and about.Always with a smile on my face because the cameras are always staked out outside my house these days, and there are all these questions about where he is, which only makes this whole thing worst.
I’d love to stay hidden, but both Mary and dad think it’s a good idea if I show my face and pretend that all is right at home.Noel and Nicole now take every opportunity to make a mockery of me because, of course, they know that he’s missing, and they use every chance to take a dig at me, each one worse than the last.
When he first disappeared from his tour, the tabloids had had a field day.No matter how much we claimed that he was ill, someone had leaked the story of him running out of the hotel to get on the plane, and of course, they’d put two and two together and come up with five, as is the norm in this town.
I only breathed easy once she came back alone, but even that was a two-edged sword because the bitch came back looking better than ever, and she was all anyone could talk about again.I’m pretty sure she pays all those people to say such things about her, to constantly sing her praise.And if that’s not bad enough, her friend, who we also tried so hard to destroy, was on the rise again.
The two of them have been making the rounds, going to all the places we’d run her away from.Places she used to frequent with Ryder and was too chicken shit to visit now that he was mine.But lately, she’s everywhere and looking better than ever.Her PR team must be working overtime because all of her press has been glowing in the last few weeks, and it’s sickening.
“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”
“Shut up!Just shut up, Dad.This is all your fault.You should’ve been paying attention to him.Those men you hired didn’t do their job, and now this is where we’re at.How did they let him get away?”
His look was so furious I recoiled as I thought he would hit me.He’s never done it before, not really, well, not since I was younger, not since I first laid eyes on Ryder, and the plan began to form.He’d lose his temper, sure, but he’d usually just throw things and yell.But now it seemed he was feeling the pressure as much as I was, which only made me worry more.
“I can’t take much more of this.Everyone is talking about her, about how great she looks.They’re saying that Ryder was by her side, that she’s the reason he canceled his tour in the middle of it, and everyone believes it.
“It’s not true; why would he do that when he has you to come home to?”
There was no mistaking the sarcasm in his voice, and I wished I was brave enough to smack him.Sometimes I wish I hadn’t made a deal with the dark side.My husband had way more money than my dad, which means that, as his wife, I was wealthier.I could easily push him out of my life; that way, I wouldn’t have to deal with this shit any longer.
But that would bring down the whole house of cards.I was locked in with nowhere to turn.It would be different if Ryder loved me, even a little bit, but I knew that I was nothing to either of these men.One was using me to satisfy his greed, and the other was only with me because he’d been drugged and threatened into submission.
I saw Ryder’s head bodyguard heading down to the workout room and made my excuses.I might as well do something to take the edge off, and the coke wasn’t working.Steve’s always been good for a quick lay, and though it was risky doing anything here, no one would bother us down there this time of day, I’m sure.