Page 28 of My Bully's Crush: Vol1
“Wait, you didn’t know?”
“Of course not; why would I close the account I set up for you and my sisters?”
“How the fuck out of it have you been, Ryder?You haven’t sent us any money in years.Which is fine, don’t get me wrong.I work and make enough; I just thought that you grew tired of always looking out for us, and you know….”
“Mom, none of what you’re saying is making any sense.I understand that you believed them when they said it was better for me to cut ties with everyone from my past for a while to get my head straight, but you’re my mother.Didn’t you find it odd that so many years went by, and you didn’t hear from me?”
“I did; I even tried to call.I was starting to get worried; I was going to come out to LA, and I even told Janie that the last time we spoke, but then you started texting the girls, so I thought everything was okay and that maybe you were still mad at me for telling you not to marry her.”
“Texting the girls?What do you mean?I haven’t talked to the girls in a while; in fact, the only people I’ve talked to on the phone for quite some time are Scott and Matt.”Wait, now that I think about it, that is a bit odd.How come I never realized before just how isolated I’ve become?
“I don’t know what’s going on; this is a mess.Do you need me to come out there?”
“No, mom, just keep doing what I asked.I’ll take care of things here.”What the fuck is going on?And why am I only now hearing about this?More importantly, why did they cut my mother off?
“Mom, I’m going to reopen your account sometime today.I need you to do something else for me.”
“Anything, son; what do you need?”
“I might disappear for a while; keep an eye on her for me.On, and one more thing, I’m gonna ditch this phone soon.I don’t trust it.I’ll call you when I get a new number.”
“Sure, no problem, be careful.”
“I will don’t worry.”We hung up, and I went back to brainstorming.I’d spent the night lying awake, putting my plan into action.If I go back to LA, there’s bound to be interference, plus I need to go somewhere to get clean.
I don’t like this feeling of being watched, being handled.I know my absence is going to cause an uproar, but right now, I don’t really care about that.I have this nagging feeling in my more lucid moments that there’s something I’m missing, something I either locked out of my mind or some other psychological drama; whatever it is, though, I’m almost certain it’s back there in LA.I don’t think I trust anyone there.
I’d already turned off the location and everything else on my phone, but I still wasn’t taking any chances.I’d rented the room using my alias, but there was no guarantee that it wouldn’t be found out before long, so I couldn’t stay here much longer.
I’d only planned to stay for long as she was in the hospital since it was within walking distance, but I’ll have to find somewhere else to stay in a day or two, if not sooner.I didn’t fool myself that my disguise would hold out for too long, especially if the paparazzi had followed her here, but it was the best I could do on such short notice.
All the next day, I was the main topic on the social media circuit.Everyone wanted to know where I was, and there was more than enough speculation to go around.Apparently, I was in South America on a yacht with my darling wife.I wonder who came up with that one.
I’d turned my phone off after talking to mom because there wasn’t anyone else I wanted to talk to.Selfish, yes, but the way I was feeling, it was the lesser of two evils.I bet Scott had already told Janie and her family where he thought I was, and it would only be a matter of time before they came looking for me.
They wouldn’t make too much of a fuss because they wouldn’t want the world to know that I’d run to her side, so they’d have to move slowly, which should buy me some time.It was best for all concerned that we do not meet right now anyway, though they may not know that.It’s amazing what becomes clear once you ease up off the drugs.
My head was hot enough to do some damage to certain people, and that would only take me away from her when she needed me, something I’d made up my mind never to do again.There was something niggling at the back of my mind whenever I had that thought, but no matter how I tried, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it was.
There was something about protecting Elena that kept slipping my mind, and when I tried to remember what that could possibly be, my head only hurt more.It appears that the drugs I’d drowned myself in to escape the pain of losing her had done a bang-up job, and I’d lost more than time.
I had a lot of work to do on myself, but all of that needed to be put on the back burner until she was okay.The hardest part was the drugs.I had to settle for oxy and whatever pills I’d had in my bag on me, and when it got so bad that I wanted to hit the streets to look for something a bit stronger, I just kept reminding myself that I was doing this for her.But fuck, it was hard.
My mind hadn’t allowed me to go beyond her getting out of the hospital.Like I didn’t fool myself into thinking that I could just walk back into her life like nothing happened, but there’s no way that I could not be here for her now.
I wanted to go see her during the daytime while she was awake, but even that I knew would’ve been nothing short of selfish and would only be for me, not to mention the cameras that were bound to be staking out the place as well as her family who hates my guts and with good reason.
It’s fucked being shut away in a room that you can’t leave with nothing but your own company and not enough drugs to numb you.With all that time on my hands, there was nothing left to do but think.I’m not sure what good that did me because my thoughts were still a bit jumbled; I wasn’t clear enough to separate truth from fiction and knew that I wouldn’t be until I got clean.
I pushed it until as late as I could before stepping out of the hotel and going to the nearest cellphone store.It was a bitch finding anything other than a little mom-and-pop place, which, all things considered, fit into my plans perfectly since the couple who ran the place looked to be about a hundred.They are not fans.
They didn’t seem interested in anything more than selling me a phone and some other stuff that I needed.I found a place not too far away to buy some clothes and looked on Google for a dealership nearby.Shit, I don’t have enough cash on me to buy a car, not even a used one, since I’d given mom most of the cash I carried on me.
If I use my card, even with the alias, Scott will know, and I have no doubt that he’s trying to track me.I decided to hold off on the car until I really needed it since everything I needed was within walking distance.
I’m pretty sure that they’d send someone after me, maybe someone from the church, so it’s probably not good to stay in the same place for too long.Damn!
I started looking for another hotel in the area as soon as I got back to my room.I ordered some lunch which tasted like ashes in my mouth, but I forced it down because if I was not well, I wouldn’t be able to look out for her.I was avoiding something I knew I had to do, and when I turned on the new phone, things were even worse than the last time I’d checked.