Page 18 of Grave Dissonance
The room is warm and inviting. Cream-colored walls with matching cream blinds adorning the windows. The bed toppling with various pillows in all shapes and sizes. I smile at the reminder of the first time I saw the room. I couldn’t help but grin at the feminine charm of vibrant colors and florals. This space is one of my favorite spaces on the planet. From the moment I had walked into the house all those years ago, I felt a sense of peace no other abode had ever given me. It’s unfortunate this might be the last time I see it.
I strip down to my boxers before falling onto the firm mattress, closing my eyes in misery. Connie thinks I should talk to Iggy. She’s certain he’ll understand. I believe he’ll understand too. That part isn’t the problem. The problem is, I don’t want Iggy to look at me differently. I don’t want to see the same pity and fear in his eyes that glare from my sister’s every single time she looks at me.
“The fuck you don’t,” Iggy says as the bedroom door swings open and then slams.
He stomps over toward me and leans down. The blue in his eyes darkens, an indicator he’s horny, but I doubt that’s the situation here. He blinks as he hungrily roams my body. Okay, maybe he is horny. “Why are you naked?”
“I always sleep naked, and since it’s one a.m. I was about to go to bed.” His fingers glide to the zipper of his pants, pulling out his semi-hard cock right above my head. “What are you doing?”
“I had some shit to say to you, but now I need to fucking come so I can think straight. Be a good boy and shut up for a minute, will you?”
My mind screams at me to stop him, demand I don’t let desire cloud our already fragmented and fucked-up situation, but my dick wants something completely different. Iggy spits on his hand before gliding it up his thick shaft, making me salivate like a dog staring at a cut of prime rib. “Iggy.”
He slams his free hand around my throat and pushes his fingers into my flesh.I can’t form the words needed as he limits my air supply. Iggy’s eyes appear wild, his nostrils flared and his teeth bared. “I think I made myself clear, Mar. I asked you to shut your fuckin’ mouth.”
Iggy trails the tip of his cock from my chin all the way to my forehead, leaving a trail of pre-cum on my skin. I force my eyes to gaze at his hand pumping up and down his thick shaft, moving from base to tip in fast, chaotic movements.
“Damn you, Marley,” Iggy grunts. “Damn you for making me want you. Damn you for making it impossible to see anything but you.”
The veins in Iggy’s arms pop, emphasizing his rage-fueled words. In all the years I’ve known this man, he’s never once come undone like this. “I hate how much I want you. I loathe how insane you make me. Most of all, I despise your push and pull to where you have me on the ledge of insanity, contemplating jumping so I can garner one last moment of peace.”
Iggy lets out an animalistic, primal growl as cum shoots from his cock, landing on my lips. “Better lick up the mess, baby boy.”
CHAPTER 12
Iggy
Adrenaline and anger run through me as I stare down at Marley’s colossal frame lying on the bed. I am the one that just came, but he’s the one breathing frantically, almost as if he can’t quite catch his breath. Even through the rage, I can’t help thinking how absolutely heart-stopping Marley Banks is. I’m so taken with this man I can’t see straight. I am not sure when it happened. A part of me assumes it might have been from the first time I saw him tapping his fingers nervously in the dive bar. He didn’t have as many tattoos then. The only one I found on his skin were the piano keys on his wrist. His facial piercings were alsoobsolete back then. There were no snake bites or the silver hoop dangling from his eyebrow. He wore a black suit with a skinny black tie with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His tie dangled over the top unbuttoned button. He had thick glasses he now swaps out for contacts. I thought he stepped out as a hot nineties Weezer member with his Buddy Holly aesthetic. I also remember the moment his haunting steel-gray eyes met mine.
My fucking cock twitched.
The tip of Marley’s tongue slips out to lick the remnants of my lust from his lips. I groan as he swipes his bottom lip then the top, collecting my cum into his warm mouth. A mouth I want to fuck into submission. I don’t want to lie and say it’s Molly or any other substance. I want to admit it’s him, but the fear of his rejection causing a rift in our friendship has me denying the truth I know, and relying on drugs to get what I need from him.
The realization I will do anything to be with this man, even blow up my life, dawns on me. The reality of being a junkie? You don’t care what you do or who you hurt in order to get the nexthigh. For me, the high is the man on the bed licking my cum from his lips.
“Fuck,” I growl before crashing my lips to his. I want to hurt him and I want to be demolished by him. My fingers tug at his hair, pulling the strands in manic passion and insatiable lust. I don’t want to know where one of us starts or the other ends.
He nips at my piercing, tugging at the corner of my bottom lip. “You don’t want to deal with me, Iggy.” He jumps off the bed and walks to the other end of the room, placing as much distance between the two of us as he can. “I’m so much more than you want to handle.”
“No,” I whisper, but I can hear the anger laced in the word. “I can handle you just fine. You’re the one scared. For you, it’s all black and white, but life is gray. Bows can’t tie everything up neatly, and people can’t fit into boxes. Do you think I’m stupid? You think I never noticed your damn drugs?”
I grab the leather duffle bag by the bed and toss the various cylinder plastic bottles. “You’ve got so many prescription pills, Marley, you might aswell be a Good Neighbor drug store. Do you think I’m blind? That I didn’t see when your body shook and you slumped to the closest wall so you could breathe? Motherfucker, I see you! I have always seen you. Even when I close my eyes to sleep, I see your damn face and those tragically beautiful eyes.”
Marley’s eyes widen as I close the distance, caging him between my chest and the wall. His hands tremble as I flip them over, exposing his wrists, and rub his piano key tattoo with the pad of my thumb. “I see this too, Marley. I’ve noticed the faint line under.”
The room goes silent as Marley’s eyes connect with mine. If I could possess a superpower, it would be mind reading, because at this moment that skill would come in handy.
Maybe Marley doesn’t want me, not like I want him. In this world, perhaps I’m his outlet, but never someone he’d step into the light with. The sad reality of the situation is, Marley isn’t ready to admit we’re endgame and my need for Marley Banks has grown so much it has been a complication. No, not a complication, a sick obsession demanding to be fed before it twistsinto something threatening to annihilate me. My hand glides our dicks against each other’s and with gritted teeth, I bare my truth. A testimony to how much I will endure for this man. “You want this, Marley. You yearn for this, but you’re too frightened to admit it. I’m not delusional. If all you can give me are these stolen moments, right now, then I’ll take it, because to an addict, one hit is better than a lifetime of going without.”
Apparently, that was the wrong or right thing to say, because Marley’s eyes darken and he stares at me with something I can only describe as a vexed, lascivious glare. Before he can push me away, I palm his crotch, rubbing against his hard cock. “Your mouth can spew all the fucking nonsensical denial you want. You can choke me to compose the burning need you have churning in every fiber of your being. I’ll let you fuck your pain away in any capacity you want.”
Grabbing his hand, I turn it over and lick his tattoo. “I will be your damn doggie on a chain. I will give you control over my body in order to bring your mind a semblance of peace. ButI’m done letting you run away from me. From us.”
I fall to my knees and rub the tip of his pre-cum-covered cock over my lips. “I’m here, Marley. Use me. Choke me until you are no longer drowning.”
Marley bangs the back of his head against the wall. “We can’t.”
I get off the ground and cover his body with mine. “It’s a little too late to say we can’t when we already have. I’d also admit it was my fault, but I was about to let everything go. Then you had to pull that shit with the groupie and bring it all up.”