Page 5 of Shared By My Neighbors
“I’ll say,” Chris says with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “And what does she say?”
I stare at him.
“You know, I don’t appreciate your flippant attitude.”
He immediately looks repentant.
“Sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean it that way. Go on. I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
I nod, my fingers fidgeting with the pliers in my hand. My face feels hot. Hell, my entire body feels hot as I open my mouth to try and explain again.
“Well, you see, I’ve always been very appreciative of everything Mother Earth has to offer. She provides everything that we human beings enjoy, with the help of Father Ocean, Brother Sky, and Sister Wind. I believe that all natural objects have a spirit, and that it’s important to show your appreciation and to commune with them on a regular basis.”
Carl nods, his blue eyes non-judgmental.
“And does your spirituality have a name?”
I squirm a bit.
“Not really. It’s just something that I practice on my own. You know, as a personal meditative practice.”
James clears his throat.
“Actually, it seems to involve much more than meditation. It seems to involve a lot of pleasure, if not straight-up ecstasy, Tanya. Tell me: do you nurture the fruits and vegetables in our garden for religious purposes? Or do you actually consume the “fruits of your labor,” so to say? Excuse my pun.”
I choke a bit.
“No, of course I use our communal garden space to enjoy fruits and veggies the normal way. I eat them! I don’t just use them to … to…”
“To fuck yourself?” Chris finishes with an impish grin.
I shake my head.
“Well, yes. I mean, no. What I mean is that I definitely eat the fruits and veggies that I grow. For example, the chips that I brought for our HOA meeting tonight. They’re from our garden.”
The men stare at the bowl of carrot and cucumber chips before us. They look good, actually. I baked them this morning, and the green and orange circles are vibrantly-colored, with a satisfying crunch when you bite into them.
But then, Carl shoots me an odd look.
“Are these from the veggies you played with last night?”
Oh shit. I’ve been caught. I knew I never should have opened my big mouth.
“Well, sort of,” I say quickly. “I mean, what did you see last night?”
“Everything,” Carl says in a smooth tone. “We saw you take yourself both ways using a cuke and a carrot. So tell us the truth, Tanya. Are these chips made from the cuke and carrot from last night?”
I flush scarlet, suddenly burning up again.
“Sort of. Well, yes. I mean, I washed them and everything, and then cut them up and baked them into these chips. But not all of the chips,” I continued in a rushed voice. “There was only one cuke and one carrot, and while they’re big, they’re not enough for a batch so I supplemented with other veggies.That’swhat you see in front of you.”
I half-expect the three men to be pissed but instead they chuckle deep in their chests.
“So we’re literally eating veggies that have been inserted in your pussy?” James drawls, picking up a green cucumber chip and eyeing it. “Hmmm, very interesting.”
Chris ups the ante, popping a carrot chip into his mouth.
“Let me ask: was this chip part of the carrot that went into your ass?” he teases. “Because I think I’d enjoy the flavor of your ass, Tanya. A lot of guys hate that shit, but I’ve always adored rimming a woman’s bottom.”