Page 29 of Misadventures And Ms. Demeanor
"Just drop JT off and get to Fargo because you're on the roster as Seniorita's replacement."
"For what, her uterus?" My lady parts were pretty rusty from lack of use, so I doubted she'd want them.
Goldie frowned and Aunt Velma smirked. "For the Women's Flat Track Roller Derby Association's championship game between the Fargo Roller Dolls and the Houston Hell On Wheels."
JT spewed coffee all over himself. He seemed to have a problem with that.
"Are you kidding me?"
"We don't kid about roller derby, Daphne," Esther chided.
"You want me to be in a roller derby competition?"
"You wantDaphneto do roller derby?" JT asked, amusement lacing every word.
I'd been part of the Minnesota women's hockey team that won the national championship, not once, but twice. No way in hell was I telling that to JT. If he wanted to learn something about me besides my cup size, then he could just ask.
All four of us glared at the man. "What?" he asked, hands up in surrender.
"Your anger issues will come in handy," Esther added, turning back to me with a gleam of maliciousness in her eye.
"If you do this, Daph, then we'll put you on a plane from Fargo back to Bozeman," Velma added. "We'll take the RV down to Omaha from there."
"That's blackmail," I replied, not thrilled they were holding my escape from this ridiculous road trip over me.
"You're the best replacement I can think of." Aunt Velma moved to put her hands on my shoulders. "I wouldn't let just anyone play for the Roller Dolls. You'll do right by the team and make us all proud."
It was one of the sappiest moments I'd ever had with Aunt Velma. She wasn't one to offer platitudes or feelings of any kind, for that matter.
"I've never even played before."
JT said something under his breath that seemed to have something to do withsuicide,but I couldn't be sure.
"Doesn't matter. You know the rules; I beat them into you when we used to watch it on TV. There will be some practice time in advance. Besides, spending time alone with JT will only build up your angst, and you'll be hell on wheels by the time competition rolls around."
"Every pun intended," Esther added.
This time, JT looked put out.
The Dixie horn blared again. Esther picked up her Samsonite case. "I didn't even get to use the watermelon," she muttered as she left, leaving the door open behind her.
"It's what, about three hundred miles to Sturgis then I can get rid of you." I glared at JT. "Then I have peace and quiet all the way to Fargo."
"Just be there tomorrow night," Esther warned.
"Tomorrow night? Fargo's not around the corner." They just looked at me, not interested in anything but agreement. I sighed loudly. "Fine, fine. I'll do it."
Aunt Velma only nodded her head, but I could tell she was relieved. Both she and Goldie picked up their bags—clearly knowing I'd say yes as they had pre-packed—and dropped kisses on my cheek before fleeing the RV as if it were on fire.
"Text me when you hit the North Dakota line," Aunt Velma called out. Two car doors slammed, then the horn blared one last time for effect and the car peeled out of the police lot.
"God, it's quiet," JT said, the humming of the refrigerator loud now that the ladies were gone.
"I need at least another two cups of coffee," I said. "There's got to be a McDonald's in this town."
JT leaned down and pulled the door shut, then bent his body in half to squeeze behind the wheel. He fiddled with the seat and pushed it back about a foot. "I'll take the first shift driving."
"Fine," I countered. Three hundred miles. That's all I had left with this man. Just breathe!