Page 27 of Misadventures And Ms. Demeanor

Walking out of a police station, hungover, in clothes that reeked of stale booze, my hair snarled in ways not able to be made by man and having to face not only Goldie and Esther Millhouse, but the guy who'd been trying to defend me, well, I'd stooped to a whole new low. I couldn't escape any of them since we were all stuck in the RV together.

"At least you didn't pee yourself this time," Goldie said to me.

I rolled my eyes up into my head. "I didn't pee myself last time," I replied wearily.

"Last time?" Esther asked. This morning she wore a hot pink track suit, her hair in the same perfect ringlets. I worried about her getting too close to an open flame with all the hairspray.

"You wouldn't believe it. She was headed to the airport and?—"

Goldie and Esther walked out of the lobby and into the bright sunshine, a few words drifting back as the door closed behind them.No. JT did that? She did what to him? He did? Of course, she peed her pants.

"You." JT pointed at me, although he looked too tired to put much anger behind the words. For spending the night in a jail cell, JT didn't look all that bad. Of course, his hair looked good all messed up. Of course, he looked good with whiskers that were twelve hours past a five o'clock shadow. "You are a total menace. I should?—"

"What? Taser me?" I was hungover, I had several members of the Hardin police department staring at us from behind the counter and Aunt Velma looming over us, but that didn't mean I was going to stand here and take it. "If you'd just let me get on that damn plane,noneof this would have happened."

I sliced through the air with my hand.

"You're saying spending the night in jail was my fault?" he asked, his voice incredulous. "You're the one who punched the guy in the face. You have anger management issues."

Aunt Velma just gave me a look that said it all:See?

"You tackled the other jerk to the ground like a football linebacker!"

"Boys and girls," Aunt Velma called out, but we ignored her.

"He called you a...." Yeah, the word was bad. At least JT had enough taste not to say it.

"You're only interested in a girl like me for a one-night stand, yet you deck a guy for wanting the exact same thing. You can't have it both ways, JT."

He ran his hand over his neck and looked at me with bloodshot eyes.

"You want a one-night stand with Daphne?"

JT at least had the grace to blush at the question.

"Aunt Velma," I whined. "Can you just give us a minute?"

"Why? If I leave, the nice police officers over there are still going to get to hear you both."

JT and I turned to look at the men watching us like we were prizefighters, most likely wondering which of us was going to throw the first punch.

I lifted my hands in surrender. "Forget it. Let's just get out of here."

One of the police officers cleared his throat. "Can we get your autograph before you go, Miss Tangles?"

I openedthe door to the RV and stepped back as Tigger hissed at me from inside. "Jesus," I muttered. The cat's fur stood on end, the tail straight up and its little kitty fangs hung down like a vampire's. Velma leaned in and looked over my shoulder.

"That cat is feral," she muttered. "Esther, get your crazy cat!"

Esther, a blur of hot pink, came by and scooped up the animal. "She's good attack cat."

Why anyone would want to steal the pickle was beyond me. With the coast clear, I climbed into the RV followed by Aunt Velma, JT taking up the rear.

Esther was back in the recliner, cat in lap. It didn't look overly feral at the moment. Maybe it was schizophrenic instead. Velma settled into the jump seat and JT and I took up our usual spots, me behind the table, him across on the bench seat.

Goldie turned from the little kitchenette and handed JT and me each a cup of coffee.

Wrapping my hands around the hot mug, I sniffed the black brew and felt my headache recede.