Page 96 of I Will Mend You

“Is there such a thing as normal if you’ve spent years training to be an assassin?” I murmur.

When he doesn’t answer, I turn to stare at his profile. His eyes are focused on the distant trees, seeming lost in the implications of my question. I take in the sharp angles of his cheekbones, the strength in his jaw, and the tension around his eyes and mouth. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.

“Some have been through so much, we don’t even remember normal,” he replies, his voice heavy with the weight of his words. “Most stay with us for protection, because defying the Moirai means constantly looking over your shoulder.”

My brows pinch in concern. I was expecting him to lead with something more optimistic.

“That’s why we plan on taking out its leadership, starting with him,” he snarls.

Delta.

The name hangs between us like a specter.

Xero turns to meet my gaze, his eyes blazing with barely restrained fury. “He’ll pay for what he did. Him and his accomplices.”

I fidget on my seat, looking everywhere but at him. Twin worms of guilt and shame wrestle in my belly, making me squirm under the spotlight of his attention. No matter how much I try, I can’t shake off the unease.

This version of Xero is more like the one I’ve known—ruthless, vengeful, never letting a slight go unpunished. No one has betrayed him recently except me. It’s unsettling that he’s being so nice when I don’t deserve this care. Yet there’s a part of me that will die if it ever goes away.

The silence stretches until it squeezes my lungs. I fight against the suffocating urge to speak, wanting to stay in this peculiar bubble of peace where Xero is too preoccupied with finding Delta to confront me about trying to burn him alive. Clenching my teeth, I try to force my mouth to stay closed, but the words spill from my lips.

“When are you going to bring up the fire?” I clap a hand over my mouth, wanting to stuff that question down my throat.

My breath stills as I wait for his response. If he haunted and tormented me for leaving him at the altar and writing a book about our relationship, then what I did to him before I ran away should earn me a death sentence.

“Look at me,” he commands.

I shake my head, fixing my gaze on my lap. Unease squeezes my chest, tightening its grip on my heart.

“Amethyst,” he growls, his voice a mix of frustration and something deeper.

Dipping my neck, I peer up at him through my lashes. The intensity in his eyes is almost too much to bear, but I can’t look away. Breathing hard, my heart thrashes against its cage like a trapped bird. His gaze holds mine, as if he can see into the very depths of my soul.

“I watched that video.” He pauses, his features flickering with emotions I can’t pin down. There’s frustration, rage, sorrow, and even pride. His lips tighten as if he’s choosing his next words with the utmost precision. “If I thought something like that had happened to my sisters, I would also set the man responsible on fire.”

“That wasn’t me,” I murmur, my voice barely audible.

“I know it was Dolly.”

My head snaps up, and I finally look him full in the face. “How do you know about her?”

“We abducted nearly everyone connected to your disappearance and uncovered a few secrets about your past. I know you have a twin who went missing when you were nine or ten. I know you were sent to that asylum to erase your memories.”

My breath shallows, each revelation hitting me like a blow. I stare at him, my eyes widening with disbelief and a flicker of hope.

“What else did you discover?” I whisper, my voice trembling.

“Your mother left a diary that can fill in the gaps. Would you like to read it?”

My throat thickens, and the grief I suppressed rises to the surface. There was a window of time when I thought Mom was the monster behind the polaroids. She was a lot of things, but she didn’t deserve to be hunted and killed.

“I didn’t kill her. Or my uncle,” I say, my voice cracking.

“I know,” he responds, his eyes never leaving mine.

“How?”

“From the start, I knew whoever did it had connections. They took out two operatives I sent to watch over your mother’s house.”