Page 135 of I Will Mend You
When he washes my arms, his fingers graze my breasts. His touch is delicate, reminding me of how Delta handled my body when slicing into my skin. The memory rises to the surface, and I cringe against the sting of the blade.
Panic claws at my mind. Tears build behind my eyes. I hold my breath, not wanting Xero to notice, but it’s like holding back a dam. As his hands glide down my belly, I release a sob.
Xero’s strong arms encircle my waist, tethering me to the present. “It’s okay, little ghost. I’m here to catch you when you fall.”
Grief spills from my chest like a torrent, bringing up the buried memories that I’d dissociated. Memories that the hallucinated Xero locked up until I was ready to cope resurface with vivid intensity. The bathroom fades away, replaced by the asylum’s bright lights. My muscles tense. My breath quickens. My pulse pounds in my ears to the beat of my panic.
“You’re safe now. I’m right here. Breathe with me.” Xero’s voice is the anchor I need to process that memory.
As I force the breaths in and out, Xero assures me that I’m beautiful, I’m strong, I’m a survivor. I shatter in his arms, only for him to hold together my broken pieces.
I focus on his voice, his calm presence, his unwavering support. It’s pulling me back to the present, reminding me I’m safe. Panic ebbs away, replaced by a deep sense of relief. I’m not in Delta’s clutches anymore. I’m with Xero.
“That was so intense,” I say, my voice trembling.
“Want to tell me about it?” he asks.
I blow out a long breath. “Give me a minute.”
He presses a kiss on my temple. “Take your time.”
The warmth of the bath returns to my awareness, as does Xero’s strong body and steady guidance. I melt against his body in a puddle of gratitude.
After the bath, Xero helps me out and wraps my body in warm towels. He places me on a stool and kneels at my feet, drying me off like I’m his most precious possession.
He gazes up at me and smiles. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you for helping me,” I murmur. “And for not pushing for more.”
“I won’t touch you like that until you’re ready,” he says.
“How will you know that?”
He brings his mouth down to my foot, his lips brushing my big toe in a kiss that sends sparks of pleasure up my inner thigh and into my core. My breath catches, and I squeeze my thighstogether, trying to contain the surge of desire. Our eyes meet, and the air crackles with electricity. His gaze darkens, pulling me deeper into the moment, making it impossible to think of anything else but how much I want him.
“I won’t fuck you until you beg for it,” he says, his deep voice making my nerves sing.
My clit swells, and the pulse between my thighs pounds. I part my lips to ask for more, but a buzzing sound breaks the tension. I flinch backward. “What’s that?”
Xero’s features harden. “An update from Tyler about your father’s assistant.” He turns toward a panel behind the counter and says, “Report.”
“We’ve found several women aged thirty and above named Rebecca Taylor living in New Jersey.” Tyler’s voice comes through a speaker. “We need Amethyst to identify them,”.
Xero looks back at me with furrowed brows. “Are you up for this?”
I swallow hard, the calmness from the bath evaporating. “Yes, let’s go.”
We move out of the bathroom and into the living space, passing the bed and sofas to reach the workstation. The computers line the desk, each with blank screens. My heart stutters as I sit on the chair with Xero holding my shoulder, keeping me rooted to the present. I shouldn’t be nervous. Becky was always nice to Dolly and me, yet there’s a part of my mind that wonders if she knew Dad was a trafficker.
DMV photos pop up onscreen, each displaying different women. I scan images of so many with variations of Dad’s assistant’s name. Each face blurs into the next until I stop at one.
My breath catches. She’s a round-faced woman with pink cheeks and frizzy auburn hair. It’s parted in the center but could rival Relaney’s blonde afro.
“That’s her,” I rasp.
“Rebecca Taylor, Apartment 5B, 432 Elm Street, Carmel, New Jersey,” Tyler says.
“What else do you have on her?” Xero asks.