Page 195 of I Will Break You
I want to kill those men. Every single one of them. Thebastards who broke into her home, the monsters who raped her, the devils who arranged the evil spectacle, and every sick fuck who paid to watch an innocent woman’s degradation and death. They should all face a fiery fate.
But I can’t do any of that without Xero.
Hell, I can’t do anything without him.
“You win,” I say into the dark. “I’ll stop rejecting you and denying we have a connection. Before I met you, I was just existing–hardly even living. But you pulled me out of a stupor I’d been stuck in for years. You picked me out of thousands of women, and I was too numb to appreciate what we had was special, and I’m sorry.”
When Xero still doesn’t answer, I continue.
“I don’t know what I was thinking. I took you for granted because I’ve never had to work for a single thing in my life. Now, I get it. I’m lucky to have you.”
My chest squeezes, and my eyes sting with tears. “And you’re right. I was ungrateful. You already do so much for me, and I haven’t given you a word of appreciation. And I’ll understand if you want to leave me here to fester.”
I suck in a deep, shuddering breath. “Thank you, Xero. You’ve saved my life more times than I can count, and I’m not just talking about the men who want me dead. Before you, I was sleepwalking through the years and living vicariously through a character in a manuscript.”
Still groping through the narrow hallway, I continue onward.
“And I like you a lot, but I’m not sure if it’s love or limerence. I…” I clear my throat. “Put it this way. I don’t have the best track record with men, but it feels different with you. Sometimes, you can love a person, but they never really existed. They were just a figment of your imagination. I don’t want to do that to you.”
Pinpricks of light seep through the bones, making my heart skip several beats. I quicken my pace through the narrow hallway and turn a bend to find the corridor opening up into a man-made tunnel, complete with fluorescent lights.
“Xero?”
This time, I don’t expect a reply.
“Just be patient with me, okay? I need time to sift through what’s real. Sometimes, I can’t even believe you exist.”
When I step out into the tunnel, strong arms encircle my waist from behind, pulling me back into a hard chest. My breath hitches, and tingles shoot down my spine.
Xero’s lips graze my ear, infusing me with a bolt of warmth. “I promise you, I’m more real than anything you’ve ever known. Take all the time you need, little ghost. I’ll still be here once you’ve sorted through your feelings, but you must never leave.”
“Alright.” I melt against his larger body, my muscles liquid with relief.
“But it’s time to go,” he says.
“Where are you taking me?” I ask.
“Back to Parisii Drive. I just got a text from one of the operatives stationed outside. Your mother has brought a removal company to empty your house. We need to intercept them. Now.”
EIGHTY-SEVEN
XERO
We arrive through the back door just as workmen carry Amethyst’s sofa through the window. A small team is working on removing the entire door frame, since they can’t override the security I installed.
I stride through the kitchen, cocking a shotgun with a sharp click. “What the hell are you doing?”
The men at the door freeze. Their spokesperson, a round-faced bastard resembling a shorn Santa Claus, raises his palms. “Calm down. We’re under orders from the owner to change the locks and empty the house.”
“Without an eviction notice?” I ask, my lip curling with disgust.
Bald Santa studies my features. My hair is still darkened from the temporary wax, and I’m wearing the dental prosthetics from earlier, so I’m no longer a mirror image of my mugshot.
Amethyst pushes past me. “This is my house. I’ve lived here for six years.”
“I don’t know about that,” he mutters.
“Call my mother,” she spits.