Page 192 of I Will Break You
Her eyes meet mine, and something shifts. The air between us thickens with unspoken tension. In her gaze, I detect a flicker of hope, fear, and something else I can't quite place.
The silence stretches, heavy with the moment. Then, with a breath through parted lips, she gives me a shaky nod.
My heart softens. I glance away first, wondering when she crawled under my skin.
“Take a break,” I say, my words gruff. “We’ll continue after brunch. After dark, we’ll drive up to Alderney Hill and deal with your mother.”
Her eyes harden at the reminder, but I’m not sure which has her more rattled: Her mother auctioning off her home or the fact her father might not exist.
EIGHTY-SIX
AMETHYST
His words and the intensity of his gaze play on a loop in my mind. That moment with Xero was a glimpse of the version of him I’d always wanted.
Part of me wants to believe he’ll always be there for me, while another part remembers how he wants me destroyed.
Watching Xero banter with his peers was strange. Watching him eat an entire meal was even stranger. There’s a part of me that will always believe he’s a legend or some otherworldly creature, because my first experience of him was through letters and then the phone.
Even when I first saw him in person, it was as a Grim Reaper-type specter. My mind is still catching up with the fact that he’s alive—a flesh-and-blood man with friends, family, and food needs.
My chest tightens as I struggle to make sense of my feelings. There’s hope, undeniable and foolish, battling with the fear that he’s playing with my heart. And underneath it all, a longing I can’t quite shake.
I want to trust him, to believe he’ll protect me, but doubt gnaws at my resolve. If he’s lying, if this is all just another game, I don’t know if I’ll survive.
After eating, Jynxson and Camila left to complete a mission, while Xero returned me to the training room via a different routethrough the catacombs. On the way, he picked up a bunch of supplies, including handcuffs, ropes, and zip ties.
We’re walking through a hallway composed mostly of skulls. In between the spaces are femurs and other arm and leg-related bones, but they’re not bound by mortar or cement. When I ask Xero, he explains they’re arranged in an interlocking structure which mineralized over the centuries.
“Am I ever going to get a tour?” I ask, my voice echoing across the walls.
“Once we’ve dealt with the immediate danger,” he replies with a smirk.
All the warmth leaves my body at the reminder of Lizzie Bath’s fate. I’ve never seen anything so dehumanizing or inhumane, and the thought of being taken and abused so brutally scares me more than getting the electric chair.
When the training began, I forced myself to compartmentalize the video and focused on defending myself from potential attackers. Now I’m struggling not to suffocate under a creeping sense of dread.
“You’re going to kill them, right?”
He gazes down at me through those cold, pale eyes. “Slowly.”
“You won’t stop until they’re all dead.”
“I won’t.”
I exhale a long breath. “Good.”
He nods.
“What?” I ask.
“Most civilians would urge me to capture them and call the authorities,” he says.
“Justice only exists for the powerful and rich,” I reply. “The police in Beaumont City don’t give a shit about anything except themselves. X-Cite media should have been reported the moment its website went live. Someone should be able to trace them through the payment processor, but they’re still out there, murdering people for entertainment. They need to die.”
He pulls me into his side. “Yes, my vengeful little ghost.”
“When are you going to stop calling me that?” I mutter.