Page 116 of I Will Break You
“You can only make money from your videos after you reach a certain number of followers. My account was stagnant for months. I’d get ten, maybe fifteen new followers a week, so it never occurred to me that my content could ever make money.”
“But then you went viral,” he says.
“I did, and I got so many followers it was insane.”
“That’s when you got the bright idea to make money from my letters.”
“No.” I shake my head for emphasis. “Back then, I couldn’t think straight.”
“Because of the medication.”
I nod. “Do you remember when you encouraged me to stop taking the pills, and I started to get better?”
When Xero doesn’t immediately reply, I glance in the mirror to find him nodding.
My tongue darts out to lick my dry lips. “Back then, I only mentioned that you’d replied. I didn’t read anything out until after you gave me permission.”
He sighs. “So, I created this monster?”
“No.” My eyes sting. “Before you wrote back, I was so depressed. No one gave a shit about my manuscripts, and I’d wasted years on a story without a market. My parents held me at arm’s length, my psychiatrist kept piling on the drugs, and I was too lethargic to leave the house.”
“I see.”
“Because of you, I had a friend. A lover. Someone who saw me as special. Someone who chose me from among a crowd of other women. Someone who made me feel needed.”
He runs his fingers through my curls. “Go on.”
“For the first time in about ten years, my mind was sharp. I still needed medical help, and I needed my own doctor. When Iheard that woman saying my videos had made a fortune, I logged into my account and applied for the creator fund.”
Xero sighs. “So, reports of how much you’d made were greatly exaggerated?”
“Something like that,” I mumble. “Look, I still made an income, but I got banned a few days ago, which means I won’t get paid for the most viral videos.”
Xero places both hands on my shoulders and squeezes hard enough to make me wince.
“What?” I ask.
“If you expect me to feel sympathy because you didn’t make the fortune they’re reporting on social media, think again.”
My shoulders sag, and I bow my head. “Is this where you cut out my heart?”
“And spoil all my fun?” he asks. “You won’t die until I decide it’s time. And after that, your soul will still be bound to mine.”
I grind my teeth. “What if I paid you back?”
He chuckles. “I might have forgiven you if you hadn’t ghosted me when I needed you the most. Those three hours would have been the sweetest of my life. A prison wedding, followed by my first prison fuck.”
“Yeah, well, you took what you wanted tonight. Isn’t that enough?”
“No, my little ghost?—”
“Stop calling me that!”
He slides a hand down to my breast and grips it in his fist. Shock courses through my system and gathers between my legs.
I gasp. “Xero?—”
“I might have sympathized with you over the creator fund,” he snarls. “After all, a girl’s got to make a living. I might have even understood why you arrived late to the wedding and missed the execution. But how the fuck do you explain the book?”