Page 76 of For Better or Hearse
They assess each other, both breathing hard now.
Nathaniel bites his swollen lip. Reaches out to run a hand down her shoulder. “I don’t hate you.”
The hangdog look on his face will haunt her for the rest of her life. At this rate, she’ll never get him out of her horny nightmares.
Torn, Ash tucks a lock of hair behind her ear.
Sure, they could continue this enemies-with-benefits thing for the rest of the trip. A distraction—or better, a reward for suffering through their time with the Whitford family—but then what? It ends. That’s where it goes. Nowhere.
Easy enough, right?
Except she doesn’t deserve Nathaniel. Not even a quick, casual hookup. Not when she did what she did to him. Guilt burrows a hole inside her. Devours her like flesh-eating bacteria. She hurt him and she could hurt him again. She can’t do that to him.
And she can’t make any more mess of her life than she already has.
Besides, she and Nathaniel, they don’t compute.
He is Vlad the Impaler, and she’s Elizabeth Bathory. They do not exist in the same century.
Hands on her shoulders, Nathaniel steps into her. Frowns more deeply. “Tell me why.”
“Because of Augustus.”
Every ounce of emotion drops off his face. Like a whiteboard being erased. “Right,” he says, suddenly rigid. His hands fall away from her body. The loss of him stings.
Shaking her head, she twists away from him. The burn in her heart intensifies. “I mean your grandfather is paying me to be here.I shouldn’t fraternize with…” Heat fills her face, that pulsing spot between her legs, but she forces herself to look at him. “I’m here for Augustus. No one else.”
A muscle in his jaw snaps tight. He runs a hand over his mouth, stifling a groan.
She bites her lip. Glances down. “I apologize for your raging boner.”
He exhales, chuckles. “You have no idea.”
Ash backs away. “I—I should go.”
“Yeah.” The heat in his eyes is still there. It scares her.
He doesn’t try to fight her on it. It’s relief. It’s disappointment. It’s both.
Nathaniel gives her a head start. Then she’s walking, stumbling, running across the sand like she’s trying to leave Past-Ash behind. A mistake. She’s made a very bad mistake. And she doesn’t know if that mistake is the kiss or the not-continuing of the kiss.
All he is is a heart interruption. Ash thumps her chest. Time to get back to her regularly scheduled beat.
Even if a little voice in her head tells her that it’s impossible.
If only he still wanted to push Ash into a volcano.
Or a crevasse. Or a crack.
It would be so much easier.
Time of day. It’s what he’s not getting from her right now. It’s only been twelve hours since the kiss, and during every activity they’ve participated in, Ash has treated him like a pariah.
Skipping breakfast, sitting at the far back of the van. Even now, on the quarter-mile hike to the waterfall, she lags behind, walking with Augustus. She’s like a ping-pong ball bouncing farther and farther away from him the closer he gets.
Amazingly, befuddlingly, she’s gone from the woman he wanted to scrape from his memory to the woman he can’t stop thinking about.
Her distance puts him on edge.