Page 61 of For Better or Hearse
“Most times, it’s boring. We play cards. Bullshit. Do standard check-ups. But then there’s work. I thrive on the chaos when it happens.”
Ash asks him, her voice quiet, “Have you ever saved anyone out there?”
“Yeah.” His lungs squeeze tight, making it hard to breathe. “I have.” He should stop talking. But she’s looking at him in a way that he likes. In the eye. With interest. It’s a trance she puts him in. Her closeness, her warmth. He’s not sure how she does it.
He scans her curious expression for a heartbeat, then takes a deep breath and continues. “One time, a crane fell, triggering an explosion on the rig. We were in a rescue craft picking up survivors that had managed to swim out. We did what we could. We triaged there since we couldn’t set up on the helideck.” He swallows. The memory a haunted whisper in his ear. “But we got tooclose to the debris. The propeller got caught, and our boat was engulfed. It threw our crew and the survivors into the water. We were picked up from sea an hour later. Two of my crew died.”
Beside him, Ash has gone still. Her face pale. “That sounds horrifying, Nathaniel.”
He leans back against the couch. “It can be. But I like the chaos of it. The long hours. The distraction. The schedule.” He rubs his jaw. “Four weeks on. Four weeks off. After Hawaii, I’m going to Peru to hike the Inca Trail.”
Ash cradles her whiskey glass in her palm. “Augustus says you’re running away.”
He fixes her with a look. “Is that what you did all day? Discuss me?”
A pink flush creeps into her cheeks. “Among other things.” She tilts her dark head at Augustus’s door. “Your grandfather wants you to be happy.”
“I will be. One day.” He gives a quick laugh. “But I know he’d like to see it now.”
Ash doesn’t respond right away. Eventually, though, she clears her throat. “So listen. Can I tell you a truth?”
“Truth away.”
“I think you’re unhappy because of me. Because of what I did to you.” She looks down at her lap, her hair falling like a curtain, obscuring her face. A weary growl pops out of her mouth. “It wasn’t nice. And it wasn’t right.”
Nathaniel’s heart suspends itself in his chest. Thumps hard against his ribs.
Looking up, she studies him from beneath her long dark lashes. “I thought I was doing the right thing. Saving marriages before they got wrecked. But only if they needed it. And I thought yours did.” Ash balls a fist. Bulldozes ahead. “I believed the wrong thing about you, Nathaniel.”
He glances at her. “This almost sounds like an apology.”
“It is. I fucked up. I made you pay for—” She catches herself,stops. A sadness, an emptiness, reveals itself in her eyes, an expression he hasn’t seen before.
A hot poker jabs him in the jugular. “For what?”
“Nothing.” A sharp inhale. “I’m sorry. I am truly sorry for what I did to you.”
Nathaniel stares at her like he’s never seen her before.
The words land between them like a shock. Tentative. A peace offering.
Eventually, he organizes his thoughts. Finds his voice. “Thanks,” he says quietly, turning the whiskey glass around in his hand. “I didn’t expect that tonight.” But damn if her apology doesn’t mean everything.
“I never should have been doing it anyway,” Ash admits on a sigh.
“Why were you?”
Her mouth twists to the side. Sharp and savage. “Let’s just say young, dumb love.”
His jaw clenches. “Tell me. How’d you come to that conclusion? That you were wrong?”
At first, it looks like she’ll evade his question. Then she shakes her head. Says, “Before you say anything stern and scolding, I swear I never took on a job without evidence. Proof. I didn’t just break up couples willy-nilly.” Chewing her bottom lip, she searches his face, mossy irises misty. “There was a photo of you with another woman. It looked bad. But yesterday, when we were at the pool…” She inhales a breath, then bursts out, “It was Delaney in that photo. She was on the set of her movie. Blue hair. Strip club.”
A murky memory surfaces, of Delaney hopping over him to sit beside him in the booth right before hoovering the salad he had brought her for lunch. It makes sense. It also explains why Ash reacted the way she did at the pool.
“I didn’t know it was your sister,” Ash insists. “I thought it was some…some trollop. My whole criteria got thrown off. My radar.” Her brow furrows. “I’m usually really good with things like that.”
Warmth spreads in his chest. It’s stupid, but he’s relieved. That she knows the truth. And why? Why does Ash Keller’s opinion of him matter? He’ll forget all about her after this vacation.