Page 179 of For Better or Hearse
She sob-laughs and pulls back, taking him in. His face is haggard and his hair disheveled. His scrubs dirty and water-logged.
“What happened? How are you here?”
His face sobers. “When the rig was hit, I was thrown overboard. I stayed adrift on a piece of wreckage for a few hours until I was picked up by a fishing boat near Catalina.”
She lets out a watery sob. “So you’re telling me it was a pirate rescue?”
With an exhaled laugh, he grips her waist with one hand. “When I got back to land, I came straight here.” He bows his head. “All I kept thinking about was you. How I couldn’t leave this world without seeing you one last time.”
Tears roll down her cheeks. Ash shakes her head. Her fists make a home in the hem of Nathaniel’s scrubs, yanking him closer. “I was so worried. The way we left things…” She gulps air, swallows her tears. “I’m so sorry, Nathaniel. For freaking out. For pushing you away.”
He kisses her hard, passionately. “Never apologize for that. There’s nothing to forgive.”
A thousand explosions happen in her heart. His trust in her, his love nearly make her knees give out.
“I don’t doubt us.” She exhales raggedly, pulling back to look him in the eye. “I choose you, Nathaniel. In every universe, in every afterlife, I will always choose you. I love you.”
“Fuck,” he rasps. His eyes shutter like her very words have carved him up. “I love you. I am so fucking in love with you, Ashabelle.”
With tremulous hands, they trace each other’s features—lips, cheeks, jaw—in wonder, as if they’ve been split apart by time, longlost. Like they’re memorizing each other in case. So close, so needy, a crowbar couldn’t pry them apart.
Whimpering, Ash tightens her hold on him, refusing to let him go. She can’t get any softer. She can’t love him enough.
In the span of two weeks, they got to know each other’s strengths and scars, fears and weaknesses. With each piece of herself she showed him, Nathaniel never once shied away.
Love isn’t about fixing yourself so that someone loves you. It’s about finding the right person to love you as you are.
She will never have to be less with Nathaniel. She is fine the way she is.
Ash. Just Ash.
Fiercely, she kisses him. When she pulls back, she grips him by the throat. “Never do that to me again. I thought I lost you.”
“Never,” he rasps against her lips. “You will never lose me.” He laces his hands beneath her lower back. Tugs her closer. “I’m in this no matter what it takes. The long run.”
“For better or hearse?” she teases.
“For better or hearse.” The corner of his mouth curves. “We’re going to do this, do us, and we’re going to do this good, okay?”
She’s nodding, noddingyes, nodding her happy.
“You just have to know one thing. The rest we can work on as we go.”
She clings to him. “What is it?”
“I will give it all to you, Ash, but you have to fucking let me.”
A smile blooms across her lips. “I will,” she says simply, staring into his handsome face.
One lifetime won’t be long enough to love Nathaniel with all she is capable of.
Somewhere in the house, the crack of a door.
Air bursts out of her in a silent scream as reality hits her. “Oh my god, Nathaniel. Augustus. Your parents. Everyone thinks you’re dead. We have to—”
He snags her hand before she can bolt for the door. “Holdon. I want to give you something first.” With that, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a black velvet box. Damp from water, a little worse for wear, but there’s no mistaking it contains jewelry.
Ash gapes at him. Opens her mouth. But nothing comes out. When she closes it again, tears mist her eyes. “What—Nathaniel…”