Page 123 of For Better or Hearse
Her pleased smile is bright. “You did?”
His chest aches when she looks at him that way. “I did.”
“And?”
“You were right,” he says softly, remembering the happy expression on his brother’s face. “It mattered.”
He carries her back to the hotel, cutting across the grass to enter through valet and take the elevator up to their floor.
He doesn’t bother asking. She’s going to his room.
When he reaches the door, he slips his key from his back pocket and enters. Carefully, he sets her on her feet, only leaving her side to snag a bottle of water and to text his grandfather that he’s found her.
Ash strips down to her panties and bra. Wobbling only slightly, she crawls into his bed. With a great tired sigh, she flops against the pillows and burrows in deep. “Ugh,” she says. “This buzzwould be better without eight thousand calories of dairy sloshing around in my guts.”
A smile battles at his lips. She’s adorable. Soft against the pillows. A needy glow on her face. Her smoky halo of wild black hair.
He removes her sandals. Digs her phone out of her purse and swipes it against her sensor monitor. Satisfied with her blood sugar reading, he places the device on the nightstand. Sits on the edge of the bed, beside her.
“Am I okay?” Ash lifts her head from the pillow. Scrunches her nose. “Is it a mess?”
“It’s perfect.”
“I don’t want to be a mess.”
He frowns when he realizes she’s not joking anymore. “Who says you are?”
“I say I am. And Maui says I am.”
He knew it. The way she acted prior to getting here. Tonight, the coiled shoulders, the nerves.
“It’s Maui,” he says. “Being here…something’s wrong.”
She sniffles. “How do you know?”
“Because you’re not you. Haven’t been since before we arrived.”
Ash swallows.“You act like you know me.” She turns her face away.
“Ash.” He takes her chin, gently forces her to look at him. “I do know you. Whether you want to admit it or not.”
“But does it matter?” She sounds distraught now. Her full red lips pull into a tiny slice of sadness. “I’m not the girl who wears pearl earrings, Nathaniel. I’ll never be her. I’ll never fit…” She moves her hand between them.
He grabs it and holds it to his chest. Presses it against the pang there.
What she’s saying is ridiculous, but it’s her truth. It kills him that she feels even the least bit left out. Like she doesn’t fit in. Like she’s too weird, when she’s proven her weird is exactly what his family needs.
“I don’t want you to fit,” he says roughly. “You’re Ash. You’re—”
Mine.But he doesn’t finish the sentence.
She thrashes her head, her long hair falling around her bare shoulders. “I’m not that person for you. I’m too different. I wear boots. I’m a stomping, chaotic mess. I can’t hold a job. I can’t do anything right.”
He frowns. His heart sinks. “You’re not a mess. Who told you that?”
Jerking out of his grip, she buries her face in the pillow. Her voice comes out muffled. “No one.”
He runs a hand down her back, soaks in the warmth of her. “You have it right. You are right. Do you not think that?”