Page 114 of Alik

The day I stop searching for her outside my window while I smoke my evening cigarettes.

The day I accept that she’s gone. For good.

Accept that the only woman I’ve ever cared for, ever loved, walked out my door and never came back, just as my mother had. I thought myself unlovable every day of my life until Olive, and I can’t decide whether or not I wish it had stayed that way. Back then, I didn’t know I wanted love. I didn’t know I needed it.

Ignorance is bliss.

Cedric shuffles his feet, nearly slipping on the gravel, and I can’t explain why it pisses me off, but it does. I shove him from behind, sending him tumbling to the ground. A whine muffles past the gag as gravel leaves faint red lines across his cheek.

My foot slams into his leg, but it isn’t on my command. Once I start kicking, my body has full control, and I don’t stop. My teeth are bared, and my blood runs hot, my heart thumping hard to push my rage through my veins.

Pathetic.

This man is absolutely pathetic.

And I hate him for it.

“Alik,” Nikita drawls, putting his hand on my shoulder. My hand clenches into a fist, and I have to fight the strong urge to swing.

Nikita tilts his head at me. “You know I love the enthusiasm, but won’t it be easier to get him downstairs if he’s able to walk?”

He looks at me with so much curiosity spilling from his eyes that I look away, instead aiming my gaze on the mangled man. Cedric groans, yelping as he goes to curl into a ball but abruptly stops. I think some of his ribs are broken.

I clear my throat. “Get up.”

He doesn’t obey.

I grab his shoulders and haul him to his feet, but he teeters and falls, letting out more cries.

Shit.

When I look at Nikita, he has an I-told-you-so smirk playing on his lips. I grab Cedric’s heels and start dragging him toward the door while he protests.

“How is um…” Nikita searches his mind. “Olive doing? That’s her name, right? Olive?”

I don’t answer. Hearing her name on his tongue makes me want to cut it out.

“I imagine she’s incredibly grateful for your efforts to work with her father. You saved her life.”

I still don’t answer.

It wasn’t difficult for Nikita to see the pathway to getting Arthur Solace and the DEA off our back. He agreed to lifting the hit on Olive before he was released, and afterward, we didn’t speak of it. But he isn’t stupid. He knows I had more invested in her than the Bratva’s best interests. Maybe he knew all along. I’m not sure. This is the first time he’s mentioned her.

“Has she had the opportunity to express that gratitude?”

I look up at him when we get to the door of the warehouse and drop Cedric’s legs so I can knock three times. A guard opens it right away.

“I’d rather not talk about the girl,” I mutter, lifting Cedric’s legs once again to drag him inside.

We get all the way to the staircase that leads down to the cellar before Nikita speaks again, his hand circling my bicep stopping me from descending.

“To be honest with you, I’d rather not talk about her either. Women make men weak. I mean, look at this sorry sack of shit.” Nikita waves to Cedric. “He’s married.”

“We aren’t together,” I say, my lip curled. “No one is making meweak, sir.” My voice is a low growl.

“Oh.” Nikita purses his lips while he nods. “Well… That explains themoods.”

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” I drop Cedric’s ankles, letting them bang on the floor.