Page 96 of The Girl with No Name

She pats my arm. “No, honey. She wasn’t. No one and nothing’s perfect. We’re all imperfect. It’s good you learn that now.”

“Well, I appreciate that framing. I need that in my life right now. What about you?”

“What about me? Hun, I’ve been married forty years.”

“Did you marry the love of your life?”

“Wow. I wasn’t expecting that question this morning.” Her wrinkled smile fades for a moment. “No, I didn’t. And then again, I did. It’s true that the one you build with is the one you really love and all that.”

“I must confess, I’m a little confused by that answer.”

“Okay, well, when I was twenty-five, I took this trip to Hawaii after grad school. Met a surfer. I stayed for two weeks, and he told me he loved me.”

“Whoa. And what did you do?”

“I finished my vacation and went back home. My mother was sick at the time. I wanted to be with her. Plus, I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. But I realized later, there are years where nothing happens, and weeks where years happen, and you never forget them. So it goes.”

“So you never saw him again?”

“Never. And this was before the age of social media. I have no idea what became of him.”

“How do you know he’s the love of your life?”

“I just know.”

“That’s sad.”

“No, it’s not. I’m happy I got to have that experience.”

“That’s one way to look at it.”

“I got married and all that. Had four kids. They’re the real loves of my life.” She pulls out her phone and tries to open it. After a few tries she gets it.

I look at the photo of her and her kids. “You have a beautiful family.”

“I married my soulmate, you know. But there are different loves we have in this life. It’s up to us to decide what to do. Sometimes I think about what would have happened if I’d stayed out there with him, in Hawaii. I don’t know if I would have been happy. Maybe it was just meant to be what it was: a fling.”

“But you just said he was the love of your life.”

“Yes.”

“Maybe I’m still drunk, but that’s an unsettling answer.”

“Life is unsettling sometimes.”

“Indeed it is.”

“We only get to live once, though. So I think it’s important to do what we want. My only real regret is that I wish I’d told him I loved him back, so he knew.”

“You ever think about going back there?”

“To Hawaii?” She laughs. “Never. Sonny, who we are in a moment is never the same. So who you are right now is different than the person you’ll be in a few years. I’d rather just let surfer boy be a fond memory of mine. And stay that way.”

The girl with no name pops into my mind. The past weekend is filled with some of the fondest memories of my life.

“But you’re young. You’re in it. Be a rock star. Take chances. All that claptrap.” She laughs again. “But what do I know? I’m just an old woman.”

“Is it too early for a gin and tonic?” I ask.