Page 8 of The Girl with No Name
“I haven’t. I’m really, really happy for you, though.”
Strange conversation, as always. That’s Mason for you. Generally I’m not the type of guy to have a dick-measuring contest. I’m more one to speak softly and carry a big you-know-what.
See? I can’t even say it. I’m a shy guy. Silly Catholic upbringing.
Mason is texting some girl. “Dude, these women are all such sluts. She wants to come over tonight.”
“How is that slutty? She likes you.”
“I barely know her.”
“Dude, these women want to marry you. You’re a six-foot-tall finance dude with a trust fund.”
“They prefer the big dick, but yeah, the trust fund is a nice touch.” He winks. “I always drop that one very slyly into the conversation so it’s not like I’m bragging about it.”
“You need to get a grip, bro.”
“What Ineedis to find a virgin.”
“Really? How many women have you slept with? Isn’t that a little hypocritical?”
He waves a hand in the air. “You know what they call a key that opens a lot of locks?”
“What?”
“A master key.”
“Okay…?”
“And do you know what they call a door that gets opened by a lot of keys?”
“Where are you going with this?”
“A shitty lock.”
“Okay, Jordan Halverson,” I retort. Halverson is a well known influencer who is known for his exaggerated takes that appeal to certain men.
“Bro, why are you hating? This is just the truth. Real men are like roosters. They’ve got a full henhouse. It’s human nature. I’m an alpha.”
I suppress an eye roll. “You’re so alpha, bro. I’m actually getting scared.”
“Just trying to make you understand why your point of view is wrong.”
“You’re telling me, if you meet the perfect woman—she’s a ten out of ten—if she’s slept with even one other person, she’s off the table for you? I call bullshit. That’s so shallow, and I can’t even begin to tell you how ridiculous that is.”
He shifts a little bit in his seat. “Fuck, I don’t know, man. Who knows.”
“You sure you’re just not missing your ex?”
“Bro. Bro. Low blow. Come on, now. Why you gotta bring her up? Plus, I’m over her.”
“You don’t think maybe you’re fucking all of these women trying to fill some hole that won’t be filled?”
He shakes his head. “Don’t hate the player, hate the game. That’s what I like to do. Like, the most fun era of dating is the first six weeks. I like to do that, enjoy the time with her, then let her go. It’s a catch-and-release system. Everything after six weeks is downhill.”
“Don’t you feel bad?”
“Why would I feel bad?”