Page 14 of The Girl with No Name
Reed: Yeah, I did. Thanks
Jay: Dude I did the math, and looks you had 74% of Lennie’s total revenue??
Reed: I did.
Jay: Nice.
The Vice President drones on. I get the feeling he likes the sound of his own voice. “We’ve had a light second quarter, so we all know what that means. We’ve got to make up for it now in quarter three. Stock prices…Team players…I consider you all my family…Always make the decision that’s going to help the team…”
I work as he talks, but I catch the gist of it.
“All hands on deck.”
“Let’s bring it home”for the end of the month.
Need to make sure we have everything “buttoned up.”
Finally we get to the awards part.
“We’d like to make some announcements,” the VP says. “The account manager of the first half year—which means, of course, that you’re getting your very own limited-edition, cyber cowboy hat and an all-expenses-paid President’s Club trip—goes to…drum roll…”
Hal grins. “Lennie Elston.”
Jay spins around in his chair and gives me a wide-eyed look that says,But you closed 74% of his deals.
I shoot him back my bestI-fucking-knowface.
Hal continues. “Lennie’s been an all-star performer for us this year. He ripped his quota out of the water in Q Two, at one hundred thirty-seven percent. He was even able to close the deal with Chicago Public Schools, which brought in seven hundred thousand on its own. Lennie, you are a superstar.”
“You on mute?” Jay asks, his voice low.
“Yes.”
“Didn’t you bring in that entire deal?”
“Yeah. I called them last winter and made friends with the secretary, who put in the good word.”
“You researched and created the build of materials, too, didn’t you? Since our engineer left?” Jay points out. “And scheduled the follow-up?”
“Guess you could say that. And I became friends with the IT director since he always has those small requests.”
“Did Lennie do…anything…to close that deal?” He arches an accusatory eyebrow.
I shake my head. “Not a damn thing.”
On the Zoom, Hal continues. “Lennie, would you like to say anything?”
“Absolutely. Yeah, I just want to thank you, Hal, for creating such a great environment for us all to work in at this company.”
“Can you talk a little about how you brought in that deal for CPS? They weren’t even talking to us before you got involved this winter.”
“Hal, it’s just elbow grease, grit, and patience. I’m just doin’ what I do.”
He turns his fingers into guns, like he’s a real cyber-cowboy or something.
“Well, congrats. Enjoy the trip to Hawaii next fall on the company dime. And great work! Anyone else to thank?” Hal brushes his bald head like he’s actually got hair.
There’s a pause.